A Good Joke Always Quacks Me Up!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

Bufflehead Duck ( Female )

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.

Interesting Fact: They hold their wings tightly against their bodies underwater and use only their feet to propel themselves. At the end of a dive, they may bob to the surface like a cork. Throughout the day they alternate between bouts of feeding, swimming alertly, preening, and sleeping. ( Bufflehead Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

People That Take Advice From Duck Are Downright Loony

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What computer sings the best?

A Dell.

Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

That’s Not A Wild Goose Chase. That’s Bingo.

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Domestic Geese in Wild

Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?

NV.

Interesting Fact: In Europe, northern Africa, and western Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the greylag goose Anser anser. In eastern Asia, the original domesticated geese are derived from the swan goose Anser cygnoides; these are commonly known as Chinese geese. Both have been widely introduced in more recent times, and modern flocks in both areas (and elsewhere, such as Australia and North America) may consist of either species, and/or hybrids between them. Chinese geese may be readily distinguished from European geese by the large knob at the base of the bill, though hybrids may exhibit every degree of variation between them. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )

I’m Sick Of Following My Dreams, Man. I’m Just Going To Ask Where They’re Going And Hook Up With ’em Later.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.

Interesting Fact: The Palm Warbler, unlike most warblers, spends a lot of time walking on the ground and bobbing its tail as it goes—an obvious trait whether the bird is on the ground or perched in a tree or shrub. Despite its affinity for the ground it also forages and sings from taller trees and shrubs. It sometimes sallies out to grab an insect from a low shrub or tree like a flycatcher. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

 

I Don’t Give A Duck!

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Bufflehead Duck male

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose!

Interesting Fact: During the winter, look for these tiny, black-and-white ducks in sheltered coves along the Atlantic or Pacific coast, or on inland ponds in southern North America. While foraging they spend half their time underwater, so scan carefully and patiently. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/ )

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be Jealous Of My Beak.

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Common Loon 

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: A hungry loon family can put away a lot of fish. Biologists estimate that loon parents and their 2 chicks can eat about a half-ton of fish over a 15-week period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon )

I Feel Loonly.

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

What did the chicken say when it got to the library?

“Book book book book book book book…”

Interesting Fact: Migrating Common Loons occasionally land on wet highways or parking lots, mistaking them for rivers and lakes. They become stranded without a considerable amount of open water for a long takeoff. A loon may also get stranded on a pond that is too small. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/ )

I Like To Be Alone But I Hate Being Lonely

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Common Goldeneye

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?

Lettuce alone!

Interesting Fact: The eyes of a Common Goldeneye are gray-brown at hatching. They turn purple-blue, then blue, then green-blue as they age. By five months of age they have become clear pale green-yellow. The eyes will be bright yellow in adult males and pale yellow to white in females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Goldeneye )

 

Quack Head!

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Bufflehead

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize.

Interesting Fact: The oldest Bufflehead on record was at least 18 years and 8 months old. It was caught and re-released by a bird bander in New York in 1975. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

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Goose On The Loose!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Domestic Goose in Wild

What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older?

A broom.

Interesting Fact: The domestication, as Charles Darwin remarks (The Variation of Animals and Plants under Domestication i. 287), is of very ancient date, with archaeological evidence for domesticated geese in Egypt more than 4,000 years ago.[2] They are much larger, and they have been selected for that larger size, with domesticated breeds weighing up to 10 kilograms (22 lb),[2] compared to the maximum of 3.5 kilograms (7.7 lb) for the wild swan goose and 4.1 kilograms (9.0 lb) for the wild greylag goose.[3] This affects their body structure; whereas wild geese have a horizontal posture and slim rear end, domesticated geese lay down large fat deposits toward the tail end, giving a fat rear and forcing the bird into a more upright posture. Although their heavy weight affects their ability to fly, most breeds of domestic geese are capable of flight. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_goose )