I Think We Have A Problem!

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Snowy Egret

When is a door sweet and tasty?

When its jammed!

Interesting Fact: The male starts working on a nest before finding a mate. Then the female takes over and ends up doing most of the nest building, with materials supplied by the male. The nest is a shallow oval of loosely woven twigs, small sticks, grasses, sedges, rushes, and Spanish moss, about 14–18 inches across and 8–13 inches high. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

DON’T PANIC!

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Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

That’s Despicable!

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Canada Goose 

How do we know that insects are so clever?

Because they always know when your eating outside!

Interesting Fact: They mate for life with very low “divorce rates,” and pairs remain together throughout the year. Geese mate “assortatively,” larger birds choosing larger mates and smaller ones choosing smaller mates; in a given pair, the male is usually larger than the female. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

 

 

Just Letting Out A Little Steam!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

Why are politicians like diapers?

Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Interesting Fact: In the 18th century the Portuguese Jesuit priest Bartolomeu de Gusmão envisioned an aerial apparatus called Passarola which was the predecessor of the hot air balloon. The purpose of Passarola was to serve as air vessel in order to facilitate communication and as a strategical device.[5] In 1709 John V of Portugal decided to fund Bartolomeu de Gusmão’s project following a petition made by the Jesuit priest [6] and an unmanned demonstration was performed at Casa da India in presence of John V, the queen Maria Anna of Austria, having as witnesses the Italian cardinal Michelangelo Conti, two members of the Portuguese Royal Academy of History, one Portuguese diplomat and one chronicler. This event would bring some European attention to this event and this project. A later article dated on October 20, 1786 by the London Daily Universal Register would state that the inventor was able to raise himself by the use of his prototype. Also in 1709, the Portuguese Jesuit wrote Manifesto summário para os que ignoram poderse navegar pelo elemento do ar (Short Manifesto for those who are unaware that is possible to sail through the element air); he also left designs for a manned air vessel. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_air_balloon )

You Are Full Of Tt!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What sort of music is bad for balloons?

Pop.

Interesting Fact: A hot air balloon is a lighter-than-air aircraft consisting of a bag, called an envelope, which contains heated air. Suspended beneath is a gondola or wicker basket (in some long-distance or high-altitude balloons, a capsule), which carries passengers and a source of heat, in most cases an open flame caused by burning liquid propane. The heated air inside the envelope makes it buoyant since it has a lower density than the colder air outside the envelope. As with all aircraft, hot air balloons cannot fly beyond the atmosphere. The envelope does not have to be sealed at the bottom, since the air inside the envelope there is at about the same pressure as the surrounding air. In modern sport balloons the envelope is generally made from nylon fabric and the inlet of the balloon (closest to the burner flame) is made from a fire resistant material such as Nomex. Modern balloons have been made in all kinds of shapes, such as rocket ships and the shapes of various commercial products, though the traditional shape is used for most non-commercial, and many commercial, applications. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_air_balloon )

I invented a cold air balloon, but it didn’t really take off.

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

Breaking: A man was arrested yesterday for impersonating a helium balloon.

A spokesperson for the police said.. We held him for a while and then let him go..

Interesting Fact: The Balloon Fiesta grew each year for decades, and today is the largest balloon convention in the world. The number of registered balloons reached a peak of 1,019 in 2000, prompting the Balloon Fiesta Board to limit the number to 750 starting in 2001,[4] citing a desire for “quality over quantity”. The limit was changed to 600 in 2009 –; citing recent growth in the city and a loss of landing zones. On any given day during the festival, up to 100,000 spectators may be on the launch field where they are provided the rare opportunity to observe inflation and take off procedures. Countless more people gather at landing sites all over the city to watch incoming balloons.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Albuquerque_box )

The Fish Was This Big! I Swear!

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Canada Goose

What does a pig put on its paper cut?

Oinkment!

Interesting Fact:  At least 11 subspecies of Canada Goose have been recognized, although only a couple are distinctive. In general, the geese get smaller as you move northward, and darker as you go westward. The four smallest forms are now considered a different species: the Cackling Goose. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

It’s Good To Be The King

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Belted Kingfisher

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Belted Kingfishers excavate burrows in earthen banks, usually avoiding ones with vegetation (especially trees, whose roots get in the way of digging). They generally choose a bank near water, but may use a ditch, road cut, landfill, sand pit, or gravel pit far from water. A pair may select a nest site during courtship, usually high in the bank where floodwaters are unlikely to reach. The male probes the bank with his bill, flying back and forth to the female, who calls continuously from a nearby perch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher/lifehistory )

Leave A Little Sparkle Wherever You Go!

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Snowy Egret

What does a pig put on its paper cut?

Oinkment!

Interesting Fact: The Snowy Egret eats mostly aquatic animals, including fish, frogs, worms, crustaceans, and insects. It often uses its bright yellow feet to paddle in the water or probe in the mud, rounding up prey before striking with its bill. Snowy Egrets feed while standing, walking, running, or hopping, and they may vibrate their bills, sway their heads, or flick their wings as part of prey gathering. They even forage while hovering. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

Where Does The Itch Goes After You Scratch It?

canada-goose-itch

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Canada Goose

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Some migratory populations of the Canada Goose are not going as far south in the winter as they used to. This northward range shift has been attributed to changes in farm practices that makes waste grain more available in fall and winter, as well as changes in hunting pressure and changes in weather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )