Interesting Fact: An abundant small goose of the ocean shores, the Brant breeds in the high Arctic tundra and winters along both coasts. The Brant along the Atlantic have light gray bellies, while those off the Pacific Coast have black bellies and were at one time considered a separate species. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brant/lifehistory )
Two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. “I know what we’re doing wrong,” said the first one. “What’s that then?” asked the second. “We’re not throwing the dogs high enough!”
A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.
The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”
The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”
Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: The “Harlan’s Hawk” breeds in Alaska and northwestern Canada, and winters on the southern Great Plains. This very dark form of the Red-tailed Hawk has a marbled white, brown, and gray tail instead of a red one. It’s so distinctive that it was once considered a separate species, until ornithologists discovered many individuals that were intermediate between Harlan’s and more typical Red-tailed Hawks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )
A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.”
So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.”
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”
To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”