Well I Hope The Neighbors Like This Song

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Black-capped Chickadee

What kind of music are balloons afraid of?

Pop Music.

Interesting Fact: Winter flocks with chickadees serving as the nucleus contain mated chickadee pairs and nonbreeders, but generally not the offspring of the adult pairs within that flock. Other species that associate with chickadee flocks include nuthatches, woodpeckers, kinglets, creepers, warblers and vireos. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory )

 

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I See You Watching Me!

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Brown Thrasher

A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it.

At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and ate it

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into sh*t is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend

3. If you are in s#!t, keep your mouth shut

Interesting Fact: Brown Thrashers are accomplished songsters that may sing more than 1,100 different song types and include imitations of other birds, including Chuck-will’s-widows, Wood Thrushes, and Northern Flickers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Thrasher/lifehistory )

Point Of View

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White-breasted Nuthatch

How do you keep from getting cold feet?

Don’t go around BRRfooted!

Interesting Fact:  If you see a White-breasted Nuthatch making lots of quick trips to and from your feeder – too many for it to be eating them all – it may be storing the seeds for later in the winter, by wedging them into furrows in the bark of nearby trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-breasted_Nuthatch/lifehistory )

Where Does The Itch Goes After You Scratch It?

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Canada Goose

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Some migratory populations of the Canada Goose are not going as far south in the winter as they used to. This northward range shift has been attributed to changes in farm practices that makes waste grain more available in fall and winter, as well as changes in hunting pressure and changes in weather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

All Good Things Are Wild And Free

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White-Tailed Deer

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!

Interesting Fact: The male white tailed deer, buck, normally weighs about 130-300 pounds. The female, doe, weighs about 90-200 pounds. The average height is 3 feet. ( http://www.brighthub.com/environment/science-environmental/articles/48142.aspx )

 

When I’m Sad I Just Sing, And Then I Realize My Voice Is Worse Than My Problems.

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White-Tailed Deer

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay.

You have my Word.

Interesting Fact: White-tailed deer are herbivores, leisurely grazing on most available plant foods. Their stomachs allow them to digest a varied diet, including leaves, twigs, fruits and nuts, grass, corn, alfalfa, and even lichens and other fungi. Occasionally venturing out in the daylight hours, white-tailed deer are primarily nocturnal or crepuscular, browsing mainly at dawn and dusk. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/w/white-tailed-deer/ )

 

My Nose Has Done More Running This Winter Than I Have.

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American Wigeon

I went to a really emotional wedding over the weekend.

Even the cake was in tiers.

Interesting Fact: The American Wigeon’s short bill enables it to exert more force at the bill tip than other dabbling ducks, thus permitting efficient dislodging and plucking of vegetation.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Wigeon/lifehistory )

Are You Talking To Me?!

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Northern Cardinal

What did the tree say after a long winter?

What a re-leaf.

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Northern Cardinal was a female, and was 15 years, 9 months old when she was found in Pennsylvania. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

How You Like My Tuxedo!

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Dark-eyed Junco

Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!

Officer: Then stop going to those places.

Interesting Fact: When foraging, Dark-eyed Juncos typically hop (rather than walk) on the ground, pecking or scratching at the leaf litter, or flit very low in underbrush gleaning food from twigs and leaves. They sometimes fly up from the ground to catch insects from tree trunks. In flight, they flap continuously and pump their tails so the white outer tail feathers flash; flight is very agile as the bird maneuvers through its tangled environs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

He Can Be A Real Pecker !

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Red-Bellied Woodpecker

An New York woodpecker and a Florida woodpecker were in New York arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The New Yorker

woodpecker said that they had a tree there that no woodpecker can peck.

The Florida woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The New Yorker woodpecker was in awe!

The Florida woodpeck then challenged the New Yorker woodpecker to come to Florida and try to peck this certain tree there that no woodpecker had

ever been able to peck successfully.

The NewYorker woodpecker said he was sure he would be able to do it. So, after flying down to Florida, he successfully pecked the tree!

The two woodpeckers then had a discussion about why they were each unable to peck those trees in their own states. After thinking about this problem

for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: “Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home…”

 

Interesting Fact: You may sometimes see Red-bellied Woodpeckers wedge large nuts into bark crevices, then whack them into manageable pieces using their beaks. They also use cracks in trees and fence posts to store food for later in the year, a habit it shares with other woodpeckers in its genus. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )