This Tree Taste Really Weird To Me?!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker

Why did the belt go to jail?

Because it held up a pair of pants!

Interesting Fact: The Pileated Woodpecker digs characteristically rectangular holes in trees to find ants. These excavations can be so broad and deep that they can cause small trees to break in half. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Pileated_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

I’m Not Perfect But My Eyeliner Is

F/10.0,1/400, ISO 320.

Green-Winged Teal

Why is Basketball such a messy sport?

Because you dribble on the floor!

Interesting Fact: Green-winged Teal sometimes switch wintering sites from year to year. One banding study found that individuals wintering in Texas one year went as far away as California in subsequent years. This lack of philopatry, or “faithfulness” to a particular site, may reflect the tendency of males that did not breed the year before to try to find mates among a different set of wintering females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

OWL We Need Is Love!

F/8.0, 1/200, ISO 320.

Great Horned Owlets

 Why did the owl, owl?

Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

Interesting Fact: Great Horned Owls typically nest in trees such as cottonwood, juniper, beech, pine, and others. They usually adopt a nest that was built by another species, but they also use cavities in live trees, dead snags, deserted buildings, cliff ledges, and human-made platforms. In the Yukon they nest in white spruces with “witches’ brooms,” which are clumps of dense foliage caused by a fungus. They occasionally nest on the ground. Pairs may roost together near the future nest site for several months before laying eggs.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Horned_Owl/lifehistory )

There Is No “We” In Food, So Get Away From Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“SUPPLIES!”

Interesting Fact: Despite its tropical sounding name, the Palm Warbler lives farther north than most other warblers. It breeds far to the north in Canada, and winters primarily in the southern United States and northern Caribbean. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

It’s Much Easier Sitting Down In The Chair..

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 1250.

Bald Eagle

What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge!

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles are powerful fliers—soaring, gliding, and flapping over long distances. In one of several spectacular courtship displays, a male and female fly high into the sky, lock talons, and cartwheel downward together, breaking off at the last instant to avoid crashing to earth. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Don’t Forget To Duck!

F/14.0, 1/800, ISO 640.

Northern Shoveler 

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark!

Interesting Fact: They are fairly social ducks, occurring in groups with shovelers and other dabbling ducks, especially during the winter. During the breeding season, they are less tolerant of other shovelers encroaching on their territory. Defensive males often chase intruders on the water and in the air. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

 

In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 640.

American Goldfinch

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it.

Little Tommy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”

Interesting Fact: Goldfinches move south in winter following a pattern that seems to coincide with regions where the minimum January temperature is no colder than 0 degrees Fahrenheit on average. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch )

 

 

 

DON’T PANIC!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 360.

Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Fast and Furry-ous!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Chipmunk

Why was the chipmunk late for work?

Traffic was NUTS.

Interesting Fact: Depending on species, chipmunks can be gray to reddish-brown in color with contrasting dark and light stripes on the sides of their face and across their back and tail. They range in size from the least chipmunk, which, at 7.2 to 8.5 inches and 1.1 to 1.8 ounces, is the smallest chipmunk, to the eastern chipmunk, which grows up to 11 inches and weighs as much as 4.4 ounces. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/group/chipmunks/ )

 

 

 

 

It Seems To Me The Vultures Have Stopped Circling.

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 400.

Turkey Vultures

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. Often, especially in the morning, they can be seen standing erect, wings spread in the sun, presumably to warm up, cool off, or dry off. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )