Beware Of The Quacks!

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Ring-necked Ducks

Two friends are talking:

Bobby: Where will you be in two years?

Tommy: I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.

Interesting Fact: On migration, Ring-necked Ducks stop to rest and feed on shallow lakes and impoundments with dense stands of cattails, bulrushes, and other emergent vegetation. They can form very large flocks on some lakes. During the winter, look for them in swamps, river floodplains, brackish portions of estuaries, shallow inland lakes, sloughs, marshes, reservoirs, and other managed freshwater impoundments. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory#habitat  )

Chill’ ‘Be Cool!

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American Coot

Can February march?

No, but April may.

Interesting Fact: The American coot is a highly gregarious species, particularly in the winter, when its flocks can number in the thousands.[20] When swimming on the water surface, American coots exhibit a variety of interesting collective formations, including single-file lines, high density synchronized swimming and rotational dynamics, broad arcing formations, and sequential take-off dynamics. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_coot#Behavior

Get Your Green On!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

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Monk Parakeets

Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?

Because you don’t want to press your luck.

Interesting Fact: Monk Parakeets kept in captivity can learn to mimic human speech. ( https://www.t.org/guide/Monk_Parakeet/lifehistory )

Interesting Fact: Saint Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick(Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”), is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day )

Let’s Swim Away Together!

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Wood Ducks

A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary.

The husband turns to his wife and asks, “What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?”

She replies, “Let’s run upstairs and make love.”

He turns to her and says, “Well make up your mind, we can’t do both!”

Interesting Fact: Egg-dumping, or “intraspecific brood parasitism” is common in Wood Ducks—females visit other Wood Duck cavities, lay eggs in them, and leave them to be raised by the other female. This may have been made more common by the abundance and conspicuousness of artificial nest boxes; in some areas it happens in more than half of all nests. Individual females typically lay 10-11 eggs per clutch, but some very full nests have been found containing 29 eggs, the result of egg-dumping. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory#behavior )

Who Dyed Your Hair!

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Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

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Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

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Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Duck You!

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Harlequin Duck Female

At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Interesting Fact:  More than half of eastern North American population of Harlequin Ducks winters in coastal Maine, particularly outer reaches of Penobscot and Jericho bays. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Harlequin_Duck/lifehistory )

I Patrol The Sky And I Am Super High!

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Peregrine Falcon

A Jen caught her husband Bob on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

Jen: “That won’t help you, Bob, you know?”

Bob: “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Interesting Fact: People have trained falcons for hunting for over a thousand years, and the Peregrine Falcon was always one of the most prized birds. Efforts to breed the Peregrine in captivity and reestablish populations depleted during the DDT years were greatly assisted by the existence of methods of handling captive falcons developed by falconers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Peregrine_Falcon/lifehistory )

Fly Eagles Fly!!!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320, CS6.

Bald Eagles ( Juveniles )

Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?

I don’t know?

Because he needed a quarter back.

Interesting Fact: Sometimes even the national bird has to cut loose. Bald Eagles have been known to play with plastic bottles and other objects pressed into service as toys. One observer witnessed six Bald Eagles passing sticks to each other in midair. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory