On Halloween Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me

Jack-o-lantern

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Day 303 / 365

What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?

Cut it out!

Interesting Fact: It is believed that the custom of making jack-o’-lanterns at Halloween, from turnips or pumpkins, began in Ireland.[5][6][7] In the 19th century, “turnips or mangel wurzels, hollowed out to act as lanterns and often carved with grotesque faces”, were used at Halloween in parts of Ireland and the Scottish Highlands.[8] In these Celtic-speaking regions, Halloween was also the festival of Samhain and was seen as a time when supernatural beings (the Aos Sí) and the souls of the dead roamed the earth. The belief that the souls of the dead roamed the earth at Halloween was found in other places, as well. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack-o%27-lantern#Origin )

How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck, If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?

Groundhog

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Groundhog (Woodchuck)

Day 302 / 365

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Interesting Fact: Groundhogs hibernate meaning they spend their winters sleeping.  They hibernate from October to late March. Groundhogs prepare for hibernation by putting on weight.  Then they live off the fat until they come out of hibernation. ( http://www.kidsplayandcreate.com/fun-groundhog-facts-and-groundhog-day-facts-for-kids/ )

 

 

Things Are Getting Spooky

spooky candle

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Day 301 / 365

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
Interesting Fact: The earliest surviving candles originated in China around 200 BC, and were made from whale fat. European candles of antiquity were made from various forms of natural fat, tallow, and wax. In Ancient Rome, candles were made of tallow due to the prohibitive cost of beeswax.[5] It is possible that they also existed in Ancient Greece, but imprecise terminology makes it difficult to determine. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candle#History )

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

sunglasses

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Day 300 / 365

Two men who are out walking their dogs meet on a street corner.
One says to the other, “Boy it sure is hot today. I’d really like to go into the bar and get a beer, but the sign on the front door says, ‘No Pets Allowed,’ and I can’t leave Fido alone on the street.”
The other man replies, “No problem, just stand by the door and watch me, and you’ll be having that beer real soon!”
The second man reaches into his pocket and puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, and then walks into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Hey buddy, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The man says, “But I’m blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!”
The bartender says, “Oh, OK then.” The man drinks his beer and leaves.
The first man then puts on dark sunglasses and goes into the bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Hey buddy, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The man says, “But I’m blind, and this is my seeing-eye dog!”
The bartender says, “Oh really? I’ve never heard of a Chihuahua seeing-eye dog!!”
The man, thinking quickly, blurts out, “Oh, man! You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?!?”

Interesting Fact: In prehistoric and historic time, Inuit peoples wore flattened walrus ivory “glasses,” looking through narrow slits to block harmful reflected rays of the sun. It is said that the Roman emperor Nero liked to watch gladiator fights with emeralds. These, however, appear to have worked rather like mirrors. Sunglasses made from flat panes of smoky quartz, which offered no corrective powers but did protect the eyes from glare were used in China in the 12th century or possibly earlier. Ancient documents describe the use of such crystal sunglasses by judges in ancient Chinese courts to conceal their facial expressions while questioning witnesses. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunglasses#History )

 

 

Rock Out!

guitar

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Day 299 / 365

How do you know someone’s a really good guitarist?

He’ll tell you!

Interesting Fact: Before the development of the electric guitar and the use of synthetic materials, a guitar was defined as being an instrument having “a long, fretted neck, flat wooden soundboard, ribs, and a flat back, most often with incurved sides”.[1] The term is used to refer to a number of chordophones that were developed and used across Europe, beginning in the 12th century and, later, in the Americas.[2] A 3,300-year-old stone carving of a Hittite bard playing a stringed instrument is the oldest iconographic representation of a chordophone and clay plaques from Babylonia show people playing an instrument that has a strong resemblance to the guitar, indicating a possible Babylonian origin for the guitar. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guitar )

 

You Don’t Know Quack!

Ruddy Duck 1

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Ruddy Duck

Day 298 / 365

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells “DUCK!!!!” and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells “MAN!!!!”

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks are very aggressive toward each other and toward other species, especially during the breeding season. They are even known to chase rabbits feeding on the shore. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Excuse Me?! I Hear Everything That You Saying! 

Boston Terrier

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Boston Terrier

Day 297 / 365

What does this dog and my phone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

Interesting Fact: The Boston terrier breed originated around 1870, when Robert C. Hooper of Boston, purchased a dog, Judge from Edward Burnett known later as Hooper’s Judge, who was of a Bull and Terrier type lineage. Hooper’s Judge is either directly related to the original Bull and Terrier breeds of the 19th and early 20th centuries, or Judge is the result of modern English Bulldogs being crossed into terriers created in the 1860s for show purposes, like the White English Terrier. The American Kennel Club cites Hooper’s Judge as the ancestor of almost all true modern Boston Terriers. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Terrier )

Style Is Away To Say Who You Are Without Having To Speak

the walk

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Day 296 / 365

I’ve never understood the fashion industry, those people are so clothes minded.

Interesting Fact:  The first official Fashion Week started in 1943 in New York. Its main purpose was to distract the attention away from French fashion during World War II and kickstart the way for American designers. ( http://www.younghollywood.com/scene/15-amazing-fashion-facts.html )

Come On, Ride The Train, It’s The Choo Choo Train

train tracks

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Day 295 / 365

Why is the railroad angry?

Because people are always crossing it!

Interesting Fact: The streets of New York were very crowded in the late 1800s. Inventor Alfred Ely Beach wanted to build a train underground. The government said no. So, he built it in secret, digging out of the rented basement of an apartment store. His subway opened in 1870. ( http://easyscienceforkids.com/all-about-trains/ )

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Are You Scared Yet?!

halloween mask

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Day 294 / 365

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m the Devil!” she responded.
“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister!”

Interesting Fact:  Halloween costumes are costumes worn on or around Halloween, a festival which falls on October 31. An early reference to wearing costumes at Halloween comes from Scotland in 1585, but they may pre-date this. There are many references to the custom during the 18th and 19th centuries in the Celtic countries of Scotland, Ireland, Mann and Wales. It has been suggested that the custom comes from the Celtic festivals of Samhain and Calan Gaeaf, or from the practise of “souling” at Hallowtide. Wearing costumes and mumming has long been associated with festivals at other times of the year, such as on Christmas.[1] Halloween costumes are traditionally based on frightening supernatural or folkloric beings. However, by the 1930s costumes based on characters in mass media such as film, literature, and radio were popular. Halloween costumes have tended to be worn mainly by young people, but since the mid-20th century they have been increasingly worn by adults also. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_costume )