Let Me Lift Up Your Smile

crane

F/14.0, 259.0, ISO 64.

Day 217 / 365

There were three workers; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide.
The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole.
This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t measure the poles while they were laying on the ground?
The worker replied, “we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long”.

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Crane#ixzz3rRDzfNPL

Interesting Fact: It is assumed that Roman engineers lifted these extraordinary weights by two measures. First, as suggested by Heron, a lifting tower was set up, whose four masts were arranged in the shape of a quadrangle with parallel sides, not unlike a siege tower, but with the column in the middle of the structure (Mechanica 3.5).[6] Second, a multitude of capstans were placed on the ground around the tower, for, although having a lower leverage ratio than treadwheels, capstans could be set up in higher numbers and run by more men (and, moreover, by draught animals).[7] This use of multiple capstans is also described by Ammianus Marcellinus (17.4.15) in connection with the lifting of the Lateranense obelisk in the Circus Maximus (ca. 357 AD). The maximum lifting capability of a single capstan can be established by the number of lewis iron holes bored into the monolith. In case of the Baalbek architrave blocks, which weigh between 55 and 60 tons, eight extant holes suggest an allowance of 7.5 ton per lewis iron, that is per capstan.[8] Lifting such heavy weights in a concerted action required a great amount of coordination between the work groups applying the force to the capstans. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crane_(machine)#History )

I Don’t Think Anyone Will Row Row Row That Boat Gently Down The Stream

Binghamton ferry

F/22.0, 159.0, ISO 64.

Day 316 / 365

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the DOC!

Interesting Fact:

Binghamton was one of six identical screw-propelled double-ended ferryboats built by the Newport News Shipbuilding and Dry-dock Company at Newport News, Virginia in 1904-05 to designs by Gardner & Cox, naval architects. She was launched on February 20, 1905, with Miss Charlotte Emery, daughter of John M. Emery, the newly promoted superintendent of the Hoboken Ferry Company and Ferry Department of the DL&W, serving as her sponsor. Binghamton was completed a month later and left the Newport News yard on March 25 for the trip to Hoboken, New Jersey. She was placed in commission on April 3. Her Captain for the first crossing was Oren D. Relyea.

Her normal run was from the Hoboken Terminal to Barclay Street, a twelve-minute journey of approximately 1 and 3/4 miles, a trip made continuously nearly every day for more than sixty years (on occasion she substituted on the Hoboken – 23rd Street run). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binghamton_(ferryboat) )

 

 

The Duck Says Quack!

Ruddy Duck

F/ 10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Ruddy Duck

Day 312 / 365

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?

I hope I didn’t quack any!”
Interesting Fact: Though Ruddy Ducks are native to the Americas, one population became established in England after captive ducks escaped in 1952. This population grew to about 3,500 individuals by 1992, and now appears to be expanding into the Netherlands, France, Belgium, and Spain. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory ).

New York, Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of There’s Nothin’ You Can’t Do Now You’re In New York

Empire State Building

F/16.0, 57.0, ISO 64.

Day 310 / 365

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State
Building when the first man turns to the other and says, “You know,
last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building,
by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building
are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into
the window.”

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the
bar.

The second guy says, “What are you a nut? There is no way that could
happen.” “No, it’s true,” said the first man, let me prove it to you.”
He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him
around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes
the elevator back up to the bar. He met the second man, who looked
quite astonished. “You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that
must have been a one time fluke.”

“No, I’ll prove it again,” says the first man as he jumps. Again just
as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries
him around the building and into the window.

Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. “Well, what the
hey,” the second guy says, “it works, I’ll try it!” He jumps over the
balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors
…and hits the sidewalk with a ‘splat.’ Back upstairs the Bartender
turns to the other drinker, saying “You know, Superman, sometimes you
can be a real jerk.”

Interesting Fact: On July 28, 1945, a B-25 bomber that was lost in fog slammed into Empire State Building north wall of the 78th and 79th floors. Fourteen people were killed (it was a Saturday, so many offices were empty). Elevator operator Betty Lou Oliver survived a plunge of 75 stories inside an elevator, the Guinness World Record for the longest survived elevator fall recorded. There was no important structural damage to the building, which opened for business on the following Monday. ( https://www.walksofnewyork.com/blog/empire-state-building-facts )

Dear Autumn, I Am Not Ready For What Comes Next

autumn night

F/ 25.0, 393.0, ISO 64.

Day 307 / 365

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”
The husband replies: “Autumn.”

Interesting Fact: As winter approaches, leaves make a coating for themselves which blocks their water source; in the absence of water, the leaves no longer produce chlorophyll (chlorophyll is what makes leaves green). ( http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/learning/learn-about-the-weather/how-weather-works/autumn-facts )

Eat Drink And Be Merry!!

diner

F/16.0, 71.0, ISO 64.

Day 305 / 365

A man entered a diner restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?”

The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?”

The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men’s room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.”

Wait a minute,” said the diner, “how do you get your penis back in your pants?”

“Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”

Interesting Fact: The first diner was created in 1872, by a man named Walter Scott. He decided to sell food out of a horse-pulled wagon to employees of the Providence Journal, in Providence, Rhode Island. Scott’s diner can be considered the first diner with “walk up” windows that were located on each side of the wagon. Commercial production of lunch wagons began in Worcester, Massachusetts, in 1887, by Thomas Buckley. Buckley was very successful and became known for his “White House Cafe” wagons. Charles Palmer received the first patent (1893) for the diner, which he billed as a “Night-Lunch Wagon.” He built his “fancy night cafes” and “night lunch wagons” in the Worcester area until 1901. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diner )



On Halloween Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me

Jack-o-lantern

F/6.3, 10.0, ISO 64.

Day 303 / 365

What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?

Cut it out!

Interesting Fact: It is believed that the custom of making jack-o’-lanterns at Halloween, from turnips or pumpkins, began in Ireland.[5][6][7] In the 19th century, “turnips or mangel wurzels, hollowed out to act as lanterns and often carved with grotesque faces”, were used at Halloween in parts of Ireland and the Scottish Highlands.[8] In these Celtic-speaking regions, Halloween was also the festival of Samhain and was seen as a time when supernatural beings (the Aos Sí) and the souls of the dead roamed the earth. The belief that the souls of the dead roamed the earth at Halloween was found in other places, as well. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack-o%27-lantern#Origin )

How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck, If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?

Groundhog

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 640.

Groundhog (Woodchuck)

Day 302 / 365

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Interesting Fact: Groundhogs hibernate meaning they spend their winters sleeping.  They hibernate from October to late March. Groundhogs prepare for hibernation by putting on weight.  Then they live off the fat until they come out of hibernation. ( http://www.kidsplayandcreate.com/fun-groundhog-facts-and-groundhog-day-facts-for-kids/ )

 

 

You Don’t Know Quack!

Ruddy Duck 1

F/ 13.0, 1/640, ISO 800.

Ruddy Duck

Day 298 / 365

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells “DUCK!!!!” and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells “MAN!!!!”

Interesting Fact: Ruddy Ducks are very aggressive toward each other and toward other species, especially during the breeding season. They are even known to chase rabbits feeding on the shore. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Style Is Away To Say Who You Are Without Having To Speak

the walk

F/ 5.3, 1/60, ISO 320.

Day 296 / 365

I’ve never understood the fashion industry, those people are so clothes minded.

Interesting Fact:  The first official Fashion Week started in 1943 in New York. Its main purpose was to distract the attention away from French fashion during World War II and kickstart the way for American designers. ( http://www.younghollywood.com/scene/15-amazing-fashion-facts.html )