NJ

Going to Christmas Eve Party!

December 24, 2015 — 23 Comments

christmas eve

F/ 7.1, 1/200, ISO 640, Photoshop CS6.

Northern Shoveler Ducks

Day 358 / 365

Twenty ways to confuse Santa Claus

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”

7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.

10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. :(”

11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”

12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.

15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.

17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.

18. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue for personal injury.

19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.

Interesting Fact: Christmas Eve refers to the evening or entire day preceding Christmas Day, a widely celebrated festival commemorating the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.[4] Christmas Day is observed around the world, and Christmas Eve is widely observed as a full or partial holiday in anticipation of Christmas Day. Together, both days are considered one of the most culturally significant celebrations in Christendom and Western society. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Eve#Historical_events )

Staring Contest!

December 20, 2015 — 26 Comments

Northern Pintail Ducks

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Northern Pintail Ducks

Day 354 / 365

What’s another name for a clever duck?

A wise quacker!

Interesting Fact: Like the Mallard, the Northern Pintail breeds in a variety of habitats all across northern North America and Eurasia. Also like the Mallard, island populations have splintered off and evolved into separate species. Two closely related forms can be found on Crozet and Kerguelen islands in the very southern Indian Ocean, known as Eaton’s Pintail (Anas eatoni) ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Eat So You Will Be Big And Strong!

December 19, 2015 — 18 Comments

White-throated Sparrow

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White-throated Sparrow

Day 353 / 365

A couple of birds made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. “Where were you? I was worried sick.” “It was such nice day, I decided to walk.”
Interesting Fact: Although they look nothing alike and aren’t particularly closely related, the White-throated Sparrow and the Dark-eyed Junco occasionally mate and produce hybrids. The resulting offspring look like grayish, dully marked White-throated Sparrows with white outer tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Lights Are On And The Dark Is Gone!

December 18, 2015 — 15 Comments

Jersey City Downtown

F/22.0, 42.0, ISO160.

Day 352 / 365

How do we really know that Santa is a man?

Because no woman would ever wear the same outfit year after year.

Interesting Fact: The first known electrically illuminated Christmas tree was the creation of Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison. While he was vice president of the Edison Electric Light Company, a predecessor of today’s Con Edison electric utility, he had Christmas tree light bulbs especially made for him. He proudly displayed his Christmas tree, which was hand-wired with 80 red, white and blue electric incandescent light bulbs the size of walnuts, on December 22, 1882 at his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Local newspapers ignored the story, seeing it as a publicity stunt. However, it was published by a Detroit newspaper reporter, and Johnson has become widely regarded as the Father of Electric Christmas Tree Lights. By 1900, businesses started stringing up Christmas lights behind their windows.[12] Christmas lights were too expensive for the average person; as such, electric Christmas lights did not become the majority replacement for candles until 1930. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights#History )

Don’t Chirp With Your Mouth Full!

December 13, 2015 — 17 Comments

House Finch

F/ 10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

House Finch

Day 347 / 365

Three birds were walking down the street. Two walked into a bar, the other one ducked!

Interesting Fact: The red of a male House Finch comes from pigments contained in its food during molt (birds can’t make bright red or yellow colors directly). So the more pigment in the food, the redder the male. This is why people sometimes see orange or yellowish male House Finches. Females prefer to mate with the reddest male they can find, perhaps raising the chances they get a capable mate who can do his part in feeding the nestlings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/House_Finch/lifehistory )

Let There Be Lights!

December 11, 2015 — 15 Comments

Christmas lights Skyline

F/29.0, 39.0, ISO 64.

Day 345 / 365

Little Mikey had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his friend what to do. The friend said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Mikey what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Mikey’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
“I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning against the damn garage.”
Christmas morning, Little Mikey woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.
When Mikey walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Mikey replied, “I think I got a dog, but I can’t find the son-of-a-bitch!”

Interesting Fact: The illuminated Christmas tree became established in the United Kingdom during Queen Victoria’s reign, and through emigration spread to North America and Australia. In her journal for Christmas Eve 1832, the delighted 13-year-old princess wrote, “After dinner.. we then went into the drawing-room near the dining-room. There were two large round tables on which were placed two trees hung with lights and sugar ornaments. All the presents being placed round the trees”.[7] Until the availability of inexpensive electrical power in the early twentieth century, miniature candles were commonly (and in some cultures still are) used. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_lights#History )

Christmas Tree Surprise Honeycomb Hideout

December 6, 2015 — 17 Comments

Beehive

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200.

Day 340 / 365

What does the bee Santa Claus say?

Ho hum hum!

Interesting Fact: Bees were kept in man-made hives in Egypt in antiquity.[5] The walls of the Egyptian sun temple of Nyuserre Ini from the 5th Dynasty, dated earlier than 2422 BC, depict workers blowing smoke into hives as they remove honeycombs.[6] Inscriptions detailing the production of honey are found on the tomb of Pabasa from the 26th Dynasty (c. 650 BC), and describe honey stored in jars, and cylindrical hives. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beehive )

Don’t Wait For The Perfect Moment. Take The Moment And Make It Perfect.

December 5, 2015 — 21 Comments

Belted Kingfisher

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Belted Kingfisher    

Day 339 / 365

A guy calls his boss and says “I can’t come to work today

The boss asks why and the guy says “It’s my eyes.”

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” asks the boss.

“I just can’t see myself coming to work, so I’m going fishing instead….”

Interesting Fact: As nestlings, Belted Kingfishers have acidic stomachs that help them digest bones, fish scales, and arthropod shells. But by the time they leave the nest, their stomach chemistry apparently changes, and they begin regurgitating pellets which accumulate on the ground around fishing and roosting perches. Scientists can dissect these pellets to learn about the kingfisher’s diet without harming or even observing any wild birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher/lifehistory )

Just Because Something Isn’t Happening For You Right Now, Doesn’t Mean That It Will Never Happen

December 4, 2015 — 10 Comments

bikes frames

F/5.6, 1/60, ISO 320.

Day 338 / 365

Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?

The pavement.

Interesting Fact: There are several early but unverified claims for the invention of bicycle-like machines. The earliest comes from a sketch said to be from 1493 and attributed to Gian Giacomo Caprotti, a pupil of Leonardo da Vinci. In 1998 Hans-Erhard Lessing described this as a purposeful fraud.[1][2] However, the authenticity of the bicycle sketch is still vigorously maintained by followers of Prof. Augusto Marinoni, a lexicographer and philologist, who was entrusted by the Commissione Vinciana of Rome with the transcription of da Vinci’s Codex Atlanticus. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_bicycle )

A Cookie A Day Keeps The Sadness Away

December 2, 2015 — 31 Comments

hot chocolate and cookies

F/5.6, 3.0, ISO 64.

Day 336 / 365

When should you take a cookie to the doctor?

When it feels crummy.

Interesting Fact:

An early Classic period (460-480 AD) Mayan tomb from the site of Rio Azul, Guatemala, had vessels with the Maya glyph for cacao on them with residue of a chocolate drink.  To make the chocolate drink, which was served cold, the Maya ground cocoa seeds into a paste and mixed it with water, cornmeal, chili peppers, and other ingredients.[4] They then poured the drink back and forth from a cup to a pot until a thick foam developed. Chocolate was available to Maya of all social classes, although the wealthy drank chocolate from elaborately decorated vessels. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_chocolate )