Have You Tried Deez Nuts!

Squirrel

F/6.3, 1/80, ISO 250.

Squirrel

Why do squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry!

Interesting Fact: Squirrels tend to run in erratic paths. This is intended to deceive potential predators as to its chosen direction so that it may escape. ( http://www.onekind.org/education/animals_a_z/squirrel )

I Am Not Your Dinner!

Wild Turkey

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 250.

Wild Turkey 

What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Interesting Fact: In the early 1500s, European explorers brought home Wild Turkeys from Mexico, where native people had domesticated the birds centuries earlier. Turkeys quickly became popular on European menus thanks to their large size and rich taste from their diet of wild nuts. Later, when English colonists settled on the Atlantic Coast, they brought domesticated turkeys with them. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/lifehistory )


Because I’m Bad, I’m Bad, Really, Really Bad

Common Grackle 1

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Common Grackle  

A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits)
The guy says to the drunk, “Why don’t you watch where your going?” and the drunk says, “Why don’t you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?”

Interesting Fact: You might see a Common Grackle hunched over on the ground, wings spread, letting ants crawl over its body and feathers. This is called anting, and grackles are frequent practitioners among the many bird species that do it. The ants secrete formic acid, the chemical in their stings, and this may rid the bird of parasites. In addition to ants, grackles have been seen using walnut juice, lemons and limes, marigold blossoms, chokecherries, and mothballs in a similar fashion. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Grackle/lifehistory )

Why Wasn’t I Casted In The “Angry Bird” Movie?!

Chipping Sparrow 1

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 100.

Chipping Sparrow 

Bob: You know Tom, sometimes I don’t understand life.
Tom: What do you mean?
Bob: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up…

Interesting Fact: In much of the West, Chipping Sparrows disperse shortly after breeding to move to areas with better food resources. It’s not unusual to see Chipping Sparrows on alpine tundra or along roadsides in open grasslands. This results in the common misperception that they bred in those areas, when really they simply moved there to molt. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Chipping_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Swimming For The Gold

Muskrat

F/ 6.3, 1/125, ISO 500.

Muskrat

What did one lab rat say to the other?

I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

Interesting Fact: Muskrats normally live in groups consisting of a male and female pair and their young. During the spring, they often fight with other muskrats over territory and potential mates. Many are injured or killed in these fights. Muskrat families build nests to protect themselves and their young from cold and predators. In streams, ponds or lakes, muskrats burrow into the bank with an underwater entrance. These entrances are 6–8 in (15–20 cm) wide. In marshes, push-ups are constructed from vegetation and mud. These push-ups are up to 3 ft (91 cm) in height. In snowy areas, they keep the openings to their push-ups closed by plugging them with vegetation, which they replace every day. Some muskrat push-ups are swept away in spring floods and have to be replaced each year. Muskrats also build feeding platforms in wetlands. They help maintain open areas in marshes, which helps to provide habitat for aquatic birds. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat )

That Worm Has To Come Out Sooner Or Later

White-throated Sparrow 1

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 400.

White-throated Sparrow

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?

Very big worm holes in your garden!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded White-throated Sparrow was at least 14 years, 11 months old, when it was recaptured and rereleased during banding operations in Alberta. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Quack Quack Mother Ducker!

Bufflehead Duck 1

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Bufflehead Duck 

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

Interesting Fact: Bufflehead normally live only in North America, but in winter they occasionally show up elsewhere, including Kamchatka, Japan, Greenland, Iceland, the British Isles, Belgium, France, Finland, and Czechoslovakia. In some of these cases, the birds may have escaped from captivity. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

A Little Birdie Told Me…

Chipping Sparrow

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 500.

Chipping Sparrow 

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.

Interesting Fact: Chipping Sparrows typically build their nests low in a shrub or tree, but every once in a while they get creative. People have found their nests among hanging strands of chili peppers, on an old-fashioned mower inside a tool shed, and on a hanging basket filled with moss. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Chipping_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Hey What’s Going On Down There, Keep It Down!

Black and white Warbler

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Black-and-white Warbler

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?

Interesting Fact: As warblers go, Black-and-white Warblers are combative: they’ll attack and fight with other species that enter their territory, including Black-capped Chickadees, Red-breasted Nuthatches, and American Redstarts. This aggressive behavior extends to the wintering grounds, where they defend territories and when feeding in mixed flocks will drive other Black-and-white Warblers away. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-and-white_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

I Am Not Yelling! This Is How I Talk!

Brown-headed Cowbird ( Female )

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Brown-headed Cowbird ( Female )

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

Interesting Fact: Social relationships are difficult to figure out in birds that do not build nests, but male and female Brown-headed Cowbirds are not monogamous. Genetic analyses show that males and females have several different mates within a single season. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown-headed_Cowbird/lifehistory )