Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.
Sports fans in some cities get an extra show during night games: kestrels perching on light standards or foul poles, tracking moths and other insects in the powerful stadium light beams and catching these snacks on the wing. Some of their hunting flights have even made it onto TV sports coverage. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel/lifehistory )
Interesting Fact: It can be tough being one of the smallest birds of prey. Despite their fierce lifestyle, American Kestrels end up as prey for larger birds such as Northern Goshawks, Red-tailed Hawks, Barn Owls, American Crows, and Sharp-shinned and Cooper’s Hawks, as well as rat snakes, corn snakes, and even fire ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel )
So there is this parrot and he knows a bunch of swear words and the owner says , “If you don’t stop swearing I’m going to sick you in the freezer.” So the parrot starts swearing and the guy puts him in the freezer. The parrot continues cussing up a storm but after a few minutes the parrot suddenly stops. The guy says “Will you stop swearing now?” and the parrot says “I’ll stop, but first I want to know what the chicken did.”
Interesting Fact: In winter in many southern parts of the range, female and male American Kestrels use different habitats. Females use the typical open habitat, and males use areas with more trees. This situation appears to be the result of the females migrating south first and establishing winter territories, leaving males to the more wooded areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel/lifehistory )
Teacher: “What is the difference between a bird and fly?”
Student: “Well…a bird can fly…..but a fly can’t bird.”
Interesting Fact: Unlike humans, birds can see ultraviolet light. This enables kestrels to make out the trails of urine that voles, a common prey mammal, leave as they run along the ground. Like neon diner signs, these bright paths may highlight the way to a meal—as has been observed in the Eurasian Kestrel, a close relative. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel/lifehistory )
Why did the American Kestrel cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back?
He was a dirty double-crosser!
Interesting Fact: When nature calls, nestling kestrels back up, raise their tails, and squirt feces onto the walls of the nest cavity. The feces dry on the cavity walls and stay off the nestlings. The nest gets to be a smelly place, with feces on the walls and uneaten parts of small animals on the floor. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel/lifehistory )