Life Is So Much Easier When You Just Chill Out.

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Carolina Wren

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just #$&#*&^# beautiful!

Interesting Fact: One captive male Carolina Wren sang nearly 3,000 times in a single day. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

Say What?!

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Tufted Titmouse

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice live in deciduous woods or mixed evergreen-deciduous woods, typically in areas with a dense canopy and many tree species. They are also common in orchards, parks, and suburban areas. Generally found at low elevations, Tufted Titmice are rarely reported at elevations above 2,000 feet. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

 

 

 

I Meant To Be Good But There Were Too Many Other Options!

ruby-crowned-kinglet

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Ruby-crowned Kinglet

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?

Bobby: Because of the Sign.

Teacher : What Sign?

Bobby : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”

Interesting Fact: The Ruby-crowned Kinglet is a tiny bird that lays a very large clutch of eggs—there can be up to 12 in a single nest. Although the eggs themselves weigh only about a fiftieth of an ounce, an entire clutch can weigh as much as the female herself. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

I Had A Dream I Was A Muffler And I Woke Up Exhausted.

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Tufted Titmouse

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A kid jumped into a mud puddle.

Want to hear a clean joke?

A kid jumped into the bath.

Interesting Fact:  Tufted Titmice nest in cavities but aren’t able to excavate them on their own. They use natural holes and old nest holes made by several woodpecker species, including large species such as Pileated Woodpecker and Northern Flicker. Additionally, Tufted Titmice also nest in artificial structures including nest boxes, fenceposts, and metal pipes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

I Am Addicted To Snow!

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Dark-eyed Junco

How does a Snowman get to work?

By icicle.

Interesting Fact: Dark-eyed Juncos breed in forests across much of North America and at elevations ranging from sea level to more than 11,000 feet. They are often found in coniferous forests incuding pine, Douglas-fir, spruce, and fir, but also in deciduous forests such as aspen, cottonwood, oak, maple, and hickory. During winter and on migration they use a wider variety of habitats including open woodlands, fields, roadsides, parks, and gardens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Dark-eyed_Junco/lifehistory )

Point Of View

white-breasted-nuthatch

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White-breasted Nuthatch

How do you keep from getting cold feet?

Don’t go around BRRfooted!

Interesting Fact:  If you see a White-breasted Nuthatch making lots of quick trips to and from your feeder – too many for it to be eating them all – it may be storing the seeds for later in the winter, by wedging them into furrows in the bark of nearby trees. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-breasted_Nuthatch/lifehistory )

I Am Going Bananas. Thats What I Say To My Bananas Before I Leave The House.

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Eastern Bluebird

What did the penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds eat mostly insects, wild fruit and berries. Occasionally, Eastern Bluebirds have also been observed capturing and eating larger prey items such as shrews, salamanders, snakes, lizards and tree frogs.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird# )

But I’m A Creep!

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Brown Creeper

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

Interesting Fact: Brown Creepers burn an estimated 4–10 calories (technically, kilocalories) per day, a tiny fraction of a human’s daily intake of about 2,000 kilocalories. By eating a single spider, a creeper gains enough energy to climb nearly 200 feet vertically. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper )

Stay Out Of My Territory!

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Marsh Wren

What animal has the best sense of time?

A Watchdog!

Interesting Fact: The secret life of the Marsh Wren plays out under the cover of reeds. Here, males routinely mate with 2 or more females and build at least 6 dummy nests for every female they mate with. One male built 22 nests on his territory. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Marsh_Wren

I Am People Watching.

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Palmchat

What’s a zombies favorite desert?

I-Scream!

Interesting Fact: Palmchats are very sociable birds, often seen in small flocks containing several pairs which will roost closely together with their bodies in contact. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmchat )