I’m Not Trying To Impress You Or Anything, But I Can Swim Without Floaties.

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F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Western Grebe

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”!
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here along time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
Man: “It’s been ten years!”
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
Man: “Oh thank you so much!”
Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”
Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: “Oh. Thank you so much. You are like a miracle”!
Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, “So tell me then, have you been bored?”
The man looked at her and said excitedly: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a surfboard in there too?”

 

Interesting Fact: Western Grebes breed on freshwater lakes and marshes with extensive open water bordered by emergent vegetation. During winter they move to saltwater or brackish bays, estuaries, or sheltered sea coasts and are less frequently found on freshwater lakes or rivers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )

Red Mean Stop And Admire!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 1000.

Northern Cardinal ( Male )

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it’s over your head!

Interesting Fact: Males sometimes bring nest material to the female, who does most of the building. She crushes twigs with her beak until they’re pliable, then turns in the nest to bend the twigs around her body and push them into a cup shape with her feet. The cup has four layers: coarse twigs (and sometimes bits of trash) covered in a leafy mat, then lined with grapevine bark and finally grasses, stems, rootlets, and pine needles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Yeah, Thats Right I Can Dunk!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tufted Titmouse 

A husband and a wife purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the years first snow came early and they were concerned about the house’s lack of insulation.

“If they could live here all those years, so can we!” a husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and they woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.

A husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

“For the past 30 years,” he muttered,

“they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”

Interesting Fact: Titmice build cup-shaped nests inside the nest cavity using damp leaves, moss and grasses, and bark strips. They line this cup with soft materials such as hair, fur, wool, and cotton, sometimes plucking hairs directly from living mammals. Naturalists examining old nests have identified raccoon, opossum, dog, fox squirrel, red squirrel, rabbit, horse, cow, cat, mouse, woodchuck, and even human hair in titmouse nests. Nest construction takes 6 to 11 days. (  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

Stop Knocking And Come In Its Snowing Out There

F/6.3, 1/60, 500.

Downy Woodpecker

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Interesting Fact: An active woodpecker that moves quickly over tree trunks, branches, and stems of grasses and wildflowers, characteristically leaning against its stiffened tail feathers for support. Downy Woodpeckers move horizontally and downwards on trees much more readily than most other woodpeckers. You may also see them perched atop tall weeds such as goldenrod in late summer, hammering away at a plant gall to get at the larva inside. Occasionally hops on the ground for food.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

Life Is So Much Easier When You Just Chill Out.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Carolina Wren

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just #$&#*&^# beautiful!

Interesting Fact: One captive male Carolina Wren sang nearly 3,000 times in a single day. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

Say What?!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Tufted Titmouse

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice live in deciduous woods or mixed evergreen-deciduous woods, typically in areas with a dense canopy and many tree species. They are also common in orchards, parks, and suburban areas. Generally found at low elevations, Tufted Titmice are rarely reported at elevations above 2,000 feet. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

 

 

 

He Can Be A Real Pecker !

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F/ 6.3, 1/125, ISO 1100.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

An New York woodpecker and a Florida woodpecker were in New York arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The New Yorker

woodpecker said that they had a tree there that no woodpecker can peck.

The Florida woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The New Yorker woodpecker was in awe!

The Florida woodpeck then challenged the New Yorker woodpecker to come to Florida and try to peck this certain tree there that no woodpecker had

ever been able to peck successfully.

The NewYorker woodpecker said he was sure he would be able to do it. So, after flying down to Florida, he successfully pecked the tree!

The two woodpeckers then had a discussion about why they were each unable to peck those trees in their own states. After thinking about this problem

for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: “Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home…”

 

Interesting Fact: You may sometimes see Red-bellied Woodpeckers wedge large nuts into bark crevices, then whack them into manageable pieces using their beaks. They also use cracks in trees and fence posts to store food for later in the year, a habit it shares with other woodpeckers in its genus. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Gonzo Would Be Jealous!

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Whimbrel

What Do You Call a Beach that Keeps Losing Sand?

A Shore Loser.

Interesting Fact: In many regions, the primary winter food of the Whimbrel is crab. The curve of the Whimbrel’s bill nicely matches the shape of fiddler crab burrows. The bird reaches into the crab’s burrow, extracts the crab, washes it if it is muddy, and sometimes breaks off the claws and legs before swallowing it. Indigestible parts are excreted in fecal pellets.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Whimbrel/lifehistory )

 

I Would Cry But Mascara Is Designer

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F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 360.

Green-Winged Teal

Men are like mascara, any sign of emotion and they’re running.

Interesting Fact: Green-winged Teals have closely spaced, comblike projections called lamellae around the inner edge of the bill. They use them to filter tiny invertebrates from the water, allowing the birds to capture smaller food items than other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

Use Your Head!

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F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker

What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?

Swimming trunks!

Interesting Fact: The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker frequently uses human-produced materials to help in its territorial drumming. Street signs and metal chimney flashing amplify the irregular tapping of a territorial sapsucker. The sapsucker seems to suffer no ill effects of whacking its bill on metal, and a bird will return to a favorite sign day after day to pound out its Morse code-like message. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-bellied_Sapsucker/lifehistory  )