I May Look Calm, But In My Head I’ve Killed You 3 Times.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 200.

Osprey

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits!

Interesting Fact: The Osprey readily builds its nest on manmade structures, such as telephone poles, channel markers, duck blinds, and nest platforms designed especially for it. Such platforms have become an important tool in reestablishing Ospreys in areas where they had disappeared. In some areas nests are placed almost exclusively on artificial structures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

Oops, Wrong Tern!

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Common Tern

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me and we will go places!

Interesting Fact:  The incubating adult Common Tern flies off its nest to defecate 5-50 m (16-160 ft) away. It deposits its feces indiscriminately in nearby water or on the territories of other terns. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Tern/lifehistory )

I Don’t Need Anger Management I Need People To Stop Pissing Me Off.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Red-winged Blackbird 

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream

Interesting Fact: Male Red-winged Blackbirds spend much of the breeding season sitting on a high perch over their territories and singing their hearts out. Females tend to slink through reeds and grasses collecting food or nest material. Both males and females defend nests from intruders and predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-winged_Blackbird/lifehistory )

I’m Sick Of Following My Dreams, Man. I’m Just Going To Ask Where They’re Going And Hook Up With ’em Later.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.

Interesting Fact: The Palm Warbler, unlike most warblers, spends a lot of time walking on the ground and bobbing its tail as it goes—an obvious trait whether the bird is on the ground or perched in a tree or shrub. Despite its affinity for the ground it also forages and sings from taller trees and shrubs. It sometimes sallies out to grab an insect from a low shrub or tree like a flycatcher. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

 

Finding A Needle In The Haystack

F/11.0 , 1/500, ISO 320.

Northern Harrier

Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.

Interesting Fact: Northern Harriers usually fly slowly and low over the ground, their wings held in a V-shape as they glide. Most males have either one mate or two mates at a time, but some have up to five mates when food is abundant. Each male courts females and advertises his territory by performing sky-dancing displays: undulating, rollercoaster-like flights up to 1,000 feet off the ground, sometimes covering more than half a mile. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Harrier/lifehistory )

 

 

I See Sky Of Blue!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Eastern Bluebird 

Imagine you are in a water tank with a roof. There are no objects in the tank to help you escape. How do you get out?

Stop imagining.

Interesting Fact: Males vying over territories chase each other at high speed, sometimes grappling with their feet, pulling at feathers with their beaks, and hitting with their wings. The boxes and tree cavities where bluebirds nest are a hot commodity among birds that require holes for nesting, and male bluebirds will attack other species they deem a threat, including House Sparrows, European Starlings, Tree Swallows, Great Crested Flycatchers, Carolina Chickadees, and Brown-headed Nuthatches, as well as non-cavity nesters such as robins, Blue Jays, mockingbirds, and cowbirds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird/lifehistory )

There Is No “We” In Food, So Get Away From Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“SUPPLIES!”

Interesting Fact: Despite its tropical sounding name, the Palm Warbler lives farther north than most other warblers. It breeds far to the north in Canada, and winters primarily in the southern United States and northern Caribbean. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

When I Was Born I Was So Surprised I Didn’t Talk For A Year And Half

F/5.6, 1/800, ISO 250.

White-throated Sparrow

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta

Interesting Fact:  White-throated Sparrows eat mainly the seeds of grasses and weeds, including ragweed and buckwheat, as well as fruits of sumac, grape, cranberry, mountain ash, rose, blueberry, blackberry, and dogwood. In summer they eat large numbers of insects that they catch on the forest floor or, occasionally on quick flights out from low vegetation. These include dragonflies, wasps, stinkbugs, beetles, flies, and caterpillars, as well as spiders, millipedes, centipedes, and snails. Parents feed their nestlings almost exclusively animal matter. During winter, White-throated Sparrows readily visit bird feeders for millet and black oil sunflower seeds. In spring they eat the tender buds, blossoms, and young seeds of oak, apple, maple, beech, and elm. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )

 

 

I Was Going To Give You A Nesty Look… But I See You Already Have One…

osprey-1

F/7.1, 1/800, ISO 200.

Osprey

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he is a pain in the neck.

Interesting Fact: An Osprey may log more than 160,000 migration miles during its 15-to-20-year lifetime. Scientists track Ospreys by strapping lightweight satellite transmitters to the birds’ backs. The devices pinpoint an Osprey’s location to within a few hundred yards and last for 2-3 years. During 13 days in 2008, one Osprey flew 2,700 miles—from Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts, to French Guiana, South America.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Osprey/lifehistory )

Sometimes What You Looking For Comes When You’re Not Looking At All.

red-winged-blackbird

F/8.0, 1/125, ISO 180.

Red-winged Blackbird

Why can’t you tell an egg a joke?

Because it will crack up

Interesting Fact: Male Red-winged Blackbirds fiercely defend their territories during the breeding season, spending more than a quarter of daylight hours in territory defense. He chases other males out of the territory and attacks nest predators, sometimes going after much larger animals, including horses and people. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-winged_Blackbird/lifehistory )