You Know What Guys I Am Getting Sick Of The V Formation!

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Ruddy Duck

What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!

Interesting Fact: The Ruddy Duck has spiky tail feathers that are used in courtship displays. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/116/overview/Ruddy_Duck.aspx )

You Wanna Fly You Got To Give Up The Shit That Weighs You Down.

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Double-crested Cormorant 

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet

Interesting Fact: The male chooses the nest site and then attracts a female. Nests can be on the ground, on rocks or reefs with no vegetation, or atop trees, which may be alive when a cormorant colony first forms but typically die after a few years from the guano build-up. Nests are built in the center of a colony first, then expand outward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Release The Quackin!

ring-necked-ducks

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Ring-necked Ducks

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

Interesting Fact: During fall migration, Ring-necked Ducks can form immense flocks. Several hundred thousand congregate each fall on certain lakes in Minnesota to feed on wild rice. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

I Will Flash You From Far Away!

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Goat Island Lighthouse ( Rhode Island )

What four letters will frighten a burglar?

O I C U

Interesting Fact: On Friday, 19 July 1723, twenty-six pirates were buried on the north end of Goat Island, on the shore, between high and low water mark. The significance of this placement is that, to Christians of this era, this inter-tidal land was considered “unhallowed ground,” like burials placed outside of a consecrated cemetery. The men had been tried in Newport between 10 and 12 July and hanged at nearby Bull’s Point (Gravelly Point). They were: Charles Harris, Thomas Linicar, Daniel Hyde, Stephen Mundon, Abraham Lacy, Edward Lawson, John Tomkins, Francis Laughton, John Fisgerald, William Studfield, Owen Rice, William Read, John Bright, Thomas Hazel, William Blades (Rhode Island), Thomas Hagget, Peter Cues, William Jones, Edward Eaton, John Brown, James Sprinkly, Joseph Sound, Charles Church, John Waters, Thomas Powell (Connecticut), and Joseph Libbey.[2] “The pirates were all young men, most of them natives of England.”[3] The following is taken from The Salem Observer, November 11, 1843: “…this was the most extensive execution of pirates that ever took place at one time in the Colonies, it was attended by a vast multitude from every part of New England.” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat_Island_(Rhode_Island) )

I Give Out Swimming Lessons

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Double-crested Cormorant

What do you call a bear with no socks on?

Bare-foot.

Interesting Fact: Large pebbles are occasionally found in cormorant nests, and the cormorants treat them as eggs. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant )

Swim At Your Own Risk

mute-swan-swimming

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Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

I Want To Swim Away!

Red-Necked Grebe

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Red-Necked Grebe

One day, two thieves stole a bunch of money from a house. First thief: Let us count the money we have stolen. Second thief: Leave, why we will count and waste our time. We can see in the newspaper, tomorrow.

Interesting Fact: The Red-necked Grebe migrates over land strictly at night. It sometimes migrates over water or along coasts by day, in large flocks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-necked_Grebe/lifehistory )

It Time To Get My Beak Wet!

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Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

Where do snowmen keep their money?

In snow banks.

Interesting Fact: Loons are like airplanes in that they need a runway for takeoff. In the case of loons, they need from 30 yards up to a quarter-mile (depending on the wind) for flapping their wings and running across the top of the water in order to gain enough speed for lift-off. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon )

If I’m Going To Get Wet, I May As Well Swim.

horned-grebe

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Horned Grebe

Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?

Because they might let down their trunks.

Interesting Fact: The Horned Grebe regularly eats some of its own feathers, enough that its stomach usually contains a matted plug of them. This plug may function as a filter or may hold fish bones in the stomach until they can be digested. The parents even feed feathers to their chicks to get the plug started early. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Horned_Grebe/lifehistory )

Got An Itch That I Can’t Reach!

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Mallard

What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

Interesting Fact: Mallards nest on the ground on dry land that is close to water; nests are generally concealed under overhanging grass or other vegetation. Occasionally, Mallards nest in agricultural fields, especially alfalfa but also winter wheat, barley, flax, and oats. Both urban and wild populations readily nest in artificial nesting structures. Pairs search for nest sites together, typically on evening flights circling low over the habitat. Occasionally nests are placed on floating mats of vegetation or woven into plant stems that rise out of the water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )