Time Is Just Flying By

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck 

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets.

“Yes, we do,” replies the assistant. “But we can’t find any of them.”

Interesting Fact: The female makes several scrapes in the ground before she starts building the nest, ultimately choosing the last scrape made. She slowly adds grasses and down to the depression while laying eggs to form a shallow bowl approximately 7–10 inches wide and 2–4 inches deep. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Do Whatever Floats Your Boat… As Long As It Doesn’t Sink Mine.

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”

Interesting Fact: California sea lions may hunt continuously for up to 30 hours, with each dive lasting three to five minutes. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Looking For Food In All The Wrong Places

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F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Northern Cardinal

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate,” Bring me my red shirt! “The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, ” Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked,’ Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle? “The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted,’ If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid.’ The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed,” Bring me my brown pants!”

Interesting Fact: Look for Northern Cardinals in dense shrubby areas such as forest edges, overgrown fields, hedgerows, backyards, marshy thickets, mesquite, regrowing forest, and ornamental landscaping. Cardinals nest in dense foliage and look for conspicuous, fairly high perches for singing. Growth of towns and suburbs across eastern North America has helped the cardinal expand its range northward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Of Course I See My Shadow With All The Camera Flashes

Six More Weeks Of Winter

groundhog-woodchuck

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 125.

Groundhog (Woodchuck)

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is?”

“Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for
the office.

The doorbell rang at 10 a. m., and when the wife opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1: 00 p. m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered.

Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

“First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

“I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

Interesting Fact: Groundhog burrows are known to have been responsible for uncovering a historic village in central Ohio – now a famous archeological site. ( http://www.havahart.com/groundhog-facts )

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Branch Manager

yellow-rumped-warbler

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

Interesting Fact: Male Yellow-rumped Warblers tend to forage higher in trees than females do. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

I’m So Tired All The Time… I’ve Got Too Many Feeders On My Plate.

annas-hummingbird

F/5.6, 1/80, ISO 200.

Anna’s Hummingbird

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact:  The dive display of the Anna’s Hummingbird lasts about 12 seconds, and the male may fly to a height of 40 m (131 feet) during the display. He starts by hovering two to four meters (6-13 feet) in front of the display object (hummingbird or person), and then climbs in a wavering fashion straight up. He plummets in a near-vertical dive from the top of the climb and ends with an explosive squeak within half a meter of the display object. He then makes a circular arc back to the point where he began. On sunny days the dives are oriented so that the sun is reflected from the iridescent throat and crown directly at the object of the dive. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird/lifehistory )

Someone Called Me Lazy Today, I Almost Replied.

california-sea-lions

F/9.0, 1/125, ISO 100.

California Sea Lions

Why do seals swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Interesting Fact: These pinnipeds live along the rocky Pacific Ocean coastlines of western North America. Huge colonies can be seen gathered on seaside rocks, and even on man-made structures, for breeding and for birthing. Males gather harems of females to their sides in competition to sire young pups, which are born on land. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )

 

 

They Call Us The Brown Bombers!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 240.

Canvasback

How does NASA organize a birthday party?

They planet!

Interesting Fact: Canvasbacks are diving ducks at home in the water, seldom going ashore to dry land. They sleep on the water with their bill tucked under the wing, and they nest on floating mats of vegetation. To get airborne Canvasbacks need a running start, but once in the air they are strong and fast fliers, clocking airspeeds of up to 56 miles per hour. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

 

 

Don’t Play Dead With A Vulture. That’s Exactly What They Want.

turkey-vulture

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 100.

Turkey Vulture

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.”

Interesting Fact: Turkey Vultures, like other carrion birds, are protected from disease associated with decaying animals by a very sophisticated immune system. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/mwg/_/0/identify.whatbird.com/obj/117/overview/Turkey_Vulture.aspx )