You Are Full Of It!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What sort of music is bad for balloons?

Pop.

Interesting Fact: A hot air balloon is a lighter-than-air aircraft consisting of a bag, called an envelope, which contains heated air. Suspended beneath is a gondola or wicker basket (in some long-distance or high-altitude balloons, a capsule), which carries passengers and a source of heat, in most cases an open flame caused by burning liquid propane. The heated air inside the envelope makes it buoyant since it has a lower density than the colder air outside the envelope. As with all aircraft, hot air balloons cannot fly beyond the atmosphere. The envelope does not have to be sealed at the bottom, since the air inside the envelope there is at about the same pressure as the surrounding air. In modern sport balloons the envelope is generally made from nylon fabric and the inlet of the balloon (closest to the burner flame) is made from a fire resistant material such as Nomex. Modern balloons have been made in all kinds of shapes, such as rocket ships and the shapes of various commercial products, though the traditional shape is used for most non-commercial, and many commercial, applications. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_air_balloon )

I invented a cold air balloon, but it didn’t really take off.

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

Breaking: A man was arrested yesterday for impersonating a helium balloon.

A spokesperson for the police said.. We held him for a while and then let him go..

Interesting Fact: The Balloon Fiesta grew each year for decades, and today is the largest balloon convention in the world. The number of registered balloons reached a peak of 1,019 in 2000, prompting the Balloon Fiesta Board to limit the number to 750 starting in 2001,[4] citing a desire for “quality over quantity”. The limit was changed to 600 in 2009 –; citing recent growth in the city and a loss of landing zones. On any given day during the festival, up to 100,000 spectators may be on the launch field where they are provided the rare opportunity to observe inflation and take off procedures. Countless more people gather at landing sites all over the city to watch incoming balloons.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Albuquerque_box )

Quack Like You Mean It!

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Black Scoter

This guy went to school and he asked
“May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, ” no not unless you say your abc’s.”
The guy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
The teacher asked “Where’s the p?
He replied, ” running down my leg!”

Interesting Fact:  The Black Scoter occasionally does a “Wing-flap” display while swimming, flapping its wings with its body held up out of the water. Unlike other scoters, it almost always punctuates a Wing-flap with a characteristic downward thrust of head, as if its neck were momentarily broken. Surf and White-winged scoters keep their heads and bills pointing more or less above the horizontal throughout a Wing-flap.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

We Need A Better Hiding Spot!

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Snowy Egrets

How do leaves get from place to place?

With autumn-mobiles.

Interesting Fact: Snowy Egrets feed while standing, walking, running, or hopping, and they may vibrate their bills, sway their heads, or flick their wings as part of prey gathering. They even forage while hovering. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Egret/lifehistory )

Life Is So Much Easier When You Just Chill Out.

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Greater Yellowlegs

Why are trees very forgiving?

Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf”.

Interesting Fact: The Greater Yellowlegs nest is a simple depression in the moss or peat, sometimes lined with leaves and lichen. The finished nest is about 6 inches across and the inner cup is about an inch deep. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Greater_Yellowlegs/lifehistory )

Don’t Juge Me I Have An Itch!

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Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?

It was on paid leaf.

Interesting Fact: In winter, Yellow-rumped Warblers join flocks and switch to eating berries from fruiting shrubs. Sometimes the flocks are enormous groups consisting entirely of Yellow-rumped Warblers. If another bird gets too close, Yellow-rumped Warblers indicate the infraction by holding the body horizontally, fanning the tail, and raising it to form a right angle with its body. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

 

This Is My Formal Attire!

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American Crow

What did one autumn leaf say to another?

I’m falling for you.

Interesting Fact: Young American Crows do not breed until they are at least two years old, and most do not breed until they are four or more. In most populations the young help their parents raise young for a few years. Families may include up to 15 individuals and contain young from five different years. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Crow )

Don’t Worry BEE Happy!

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Bumblebee

Why don’t elephants use cellular phones?

So the rest of the world won’t know their plans.

Interesting Fact: The bumblebee tongue (the proboscis) is a long, hairy structure that extends from a sheath-like modified maxilla. The primary action of the tongue is lapping, that is, repeated dipping of the tongue into liquid.[29] The tip of the tongue probably acts as a suction cup and during lapping, nectar may be drawn up the proboscis by capillary action. When at rest or flying, the proboscis is kept folded under the head. The longer the tongue, the deeper the bumblebee can probe into a flower and bees probably learn by experience which flower source is best-suited to their tongue length.[30] Bees with shorter proboscides, like Bombus bifarius, have a more difficult time foraging nectar relative to other bumblebees with longer proboscides; to overcome this disadvantage, B. bifarius workers were observed to lick the back of spurs on the nectar duct, which resulted in a small reward. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumblebee )

 

 

Patience, Young Grasshopper.

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Grasshopper

Why don’t some doctors like being on hold?

They don’t have a lot of patients.

Interesting Fact: A large grasshopper, such as a locust, can jump about a metre (twenty body lengths) without using its wings; the acceleration peaks at about 20 g.[26] Grasshoppers jump by extending their large back legs and pushing against the substrate (the ground, a twig, a blade of grass or whatever else they are standing on); the reaction force propels them into the air.[27] They jump for several reasons; to escape from a predator, to launch themselves into flight, or simply to move from place to place. For the escape jump in particular there is strong selective pressure to maximize take-off velocity, since this determines the range. This means that the legs must thrust against the ground with both high force and a high velocity of movement. A fundamental property of muscle is that it cannot contract with high force and high velocity at the same time. Grasshoppers overcome this by using a catapult mechanism to amplify the mechanical power produced by their muscles. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grasshopper )

 

 

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger. Except For Bears, Bears Will Kill You!

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American Black Bear

Why do bears have fur coats?

Because they would look silly in ski jackets.

Interesting Fact: Female black bears give birth to two or three blind, helpless cubs in mid-winter and nurse them in the den until spring, when all emerge in search of food. The cubs will stay with their very protective mother for about two years. ( https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/a/american-black-bear/ )