Not In A Tweeting Mood!

tufted-titmouse-3

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Tufted Titmouse

Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone?

He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice often line the inner cup of their nest with hair, sometimes plucked directly from living animals. The list of hair types identified from old nests includes raccoons, opossums, mice, woodchucks, squirrels, rabbits, livestock, pets, and even humans. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

 

Time Is Just Flying By

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck 

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets.

“Yes, we do,” replies the assistant. “But we can’t find any of them.”

Interesting Fact: The female makes several scrapes in the ground before she starts building the nest, ultimately choosing the last scrape made. She slowly adds grasses and down to the depression while laying eggs to form a shallow bowl approximately 7–10 inches wide and 2–4 inches deep. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Branch Manager

yellow-rumped-warbler

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

Interesting Fact: Male Yellow-rumped Warblers tend to forage higher in trees than females do. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

Well…This Is Hawkward

red-tailed-hawk-hawkward

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk 

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store!

Interesting Fact: The Red-tailed Hawk has a thrilling, raspy scream that sounds exactly like a raptor should sound. At least, that’s what Hollywood directors seem to think. Whenever a hawk or eagle appears onscreen, no matter what species, the shrill cry on the soundtrack is almost always a Red-tailed Hawk. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

 

Get My Good Side! Ew

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Blue Jay

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet ya’ at the corner!

Interesting Facts: This common, large songbird is familiar to many people, with its perky crest; blue, white, gray, and black plumage; and noisy calls. Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems, and have tight family bonds. They often mate for life, remaining with their social mate throughout the year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue_Jay/lifehistory )

I Walk On Water. What’s Your Superpower!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Green-Winged Teal

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they have lots of drafts in their office.

Interesting Facts: Green-winged Teal are fast, agile, buoyant flyers. They can take off straight from the water without running across the surface. Though they are dabbling ducks that usually tip up to feed, they occasionally dive for food and to avoid predators. In winter Green-winged Teal gather in roosting flocks of up to 50,000 birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

 

 

Be Like A Duck. Remain Calm On The Surface And Paddle Like Hell Underneath.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 200.

Black Scoter

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet.

Interesting Facts: This species dives for crustaceans and molluscs while migrating or wintering on the sea-coasts, and feeds on insects and their larvae, especially caddisflies, fish eggs and, more rarely, vegetation such as duck weed while nesting on freshwater. It forms large flocks on suitable coastal waters in winter quarters. These are tightly packed, and the birds tend to take off together; in the breeding season they are less social. It has been suggested that in coastal waters this species prefers sheltered embayments, and possibly waters that include some mixed depths. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_scoter )

 

 

All Good Things Are Wild And Free

white-tailed-deer-buck

F/6.3, 1/100, ISO 200.

White-Tailed Deer

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!

Interesting Fact: The male white tailed deer, buck, normally weighs about 130-300 pounds. The female, doe, weighs about 90-200 pounds. The average height is 3 feet. ( http://www.brighthub.com/environment/science-environmental/articles/48142.aspx )