Away With You…. PHEASANT.

ring-necked-pheasant

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 1100.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

A pheasant says to a bull, “I would love to get on top of that tree, but I haven’t the energy.”

“Well,” says the bull, “why don’t you eat some of my dung? It’s packed with nutrients.”

So the pheasant eats some dung and finds that it gives him enough energy to get to the first branch. The next day, he eats some more and gets to the next branch. This cycle continues for a week. Finally, the pheasant is at the top of the tree, where he is spotted by the farmer, who shoots him with a shotgun.

Moral of the Story: bullsh*t might take you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Interesting Fact: While the birds normally don’t cover more than about 600 feet at a time, strong winds can extend their flights considerably. Observers in 1941 reported seeing a pheasant fly a record four miles while crossing a body of water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant/lifehistory )

What The Duck?

bufflehead

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.
Bufflehead Duck

Two ducks are in a pond.

One went “Quack quack!”

And the other duck said “That’s funny I was just about to say that!”

Interesting Fact: The Bufflehead nests almost exclusively in holes excavated by Northern Flickers and, on occasion, by Pileated Woodpeckers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

Duck Magnet!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Ruddy Duck

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Interesting Fact:  Ruddy Ducks lay big, white, pebbly-textured eggs—the largest of all duck eggs relative to body size. Energetically expensive to produce, the eggs hatch into well-developed ducklings that require only a short period of care. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

Swim Your Heart Out!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Bufflehead Duck 

What do you call two ducks and a cow?

Quackers and Milk.

Interesting Fact: Bufflehead fossils from the late Pleistocene (about 500,000 years ago) have been found in Alaska, California, Florida, Illinois, Kansas, Texas, and Washington. One California fossil that resembles a modern Bufflehead dates to the late Pliocene, two million years ago.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bufflehead/lifehistory )

Now That’s What I Call Spread Eagle!

bald-eagle-juvenile

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Bald Eagle ( Juvenile )

What does the eagle say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?

“Let us prey.”

Interesting Fact: The largest Bald Eagle nest on record, in St. Petersburg, Florida, was 2.9 meters in diameter and 6.1 meters tall. Another famous nest—in Vermilion, Ohio—was shaped like a wine glass and weighed almost two metric tons. It was used for 34 years until the tree blew down. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

I Am Going Bananas. Thats What I Say To My Bananas Before I Leave The House.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

Eastern Bluebird

What did the penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds eat mostly insects, wild fruit and berries. Occasionally, Eastern Bluebirds have also been observed capturing and eating larger prey items such as shrews, salamanders, snakes, lizards and tree frogs.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird# )

I Have A Headache!

downy-woodpecker-4

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Downy Woodpecker

Why did Adele cross the road?

To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

 Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers have been discovered nesting inside the walls of buildings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

What Goes Up Must Come Down!

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?

”Hi, Buster.”

Interesting Fact:  The convention has also become a major showcase of New Mexican culture and history and features numerous cultural exhibitions .The fiesta is one of Albuquerque’s largest tourist attractions and constitutes a major source of income for the city and local businesses. In 2015, the fiesta logged 955,703 visitors.[4] Typically, tourists and fiesta visitors take thousands of pictures of the balloons, so it is no surprise that for several years the fiesta was sponsored by Kodak and was given the title, the Kodak Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, though that title was usually only used in print ads and on official memorabilia. In 2018 the fiesta is being presented by Canon, a Japanese camera and imaging company.[5]  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Local_impact )

Who Let Baloons Out!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business?

He couldn’t get it off the ground.

Interesting Fact: The success of the Fiesta depends in part on the cool Albuquerque morning temperatures in October and the Albuquerque box. The “box” is a set of predictable wind patterns that can be exploited to navigate the balloons. At low elevations the winds tend to be northerly (from the north), but at higher elevations they tend to be southerly. Balloonists use these winds to navigate in a vertical box: they ascend slightly from the launch park, move south, ascend further, move north, descend, and repeat the box or land back in the launch park or quite nearby. During events involving on-field targets, such as the “Key Grab” (where pilots attempt to grab prizes, including a set of keys to a new vehicle, from atop tall, flexible poles), it’s not uncommon to see the same balloon make 5 or 6 passes at the targets, simply by working the “Box” to keep returning to the field.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#Albuquerque_box )

When Pink Elephants Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.

He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts: ”Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: ”Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

”You must work in Technical Support,” says the balloonist.

”I do,” replies the man. ”How did you know?”

”Well” says the balloonist, ”everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless.”

The man below says: ”You must be in management.”

”I am,” replies the balloonist, ”but how did you know?”

”Well”, says the man, ”you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re still in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Interesting Fact:  The Balloon Fiesta grew each year for decades, and today is the largest balloon convention in the world. The number of registered balloons reached a peak of 1,019 in 2000, prompting the Balloon Fiesta Board to limit the number to 750 starting in 2001,[3] citing a desire for “quality over quantity”. The limit was changed to 600 in 2009 — citing recent growth in the city and a loss of landing zones. On any given day during the festival, up to 100,000 spectators may be on the launch field where they are provided the rare opportunity to observe inflation and take off procedures. Countless more people gather at landing sites all over the city to watch incoming balloons.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta#History )