It’s Good To Be The King

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Belted Kingfisher

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Belted Kingfishers excavate burrows in earthen banks, usually avoiding ones with vegetation (especially trees, whose roots get in the way of digging). They generally choose a bank near water, but may use a ditch, road cut, landfill, sand pit, or gravel pit far from water. A pair may select a nest site during courtship, usually high in the bank where floodwaters are unlikely to reach. The male probes the bank with his bill, flying back and forth to the female, who calls continuously from a nearby perch. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher/lifehistory )

Blue Looks Good On You!

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 320.

California Scrub-Jay

Why did Papa Smurf send Smurfette to see a doctor???

She was always feeling blue…

Interesting Fact: Look closely, and you’ll see an intriguing difference between the California Scrub-Jay and its close relative, Woodhouse’s Scrub-Jay. The bill of a California Scrub-Jay is stout and hooked, giving it extra power and grip as the birds hammer open acorns in their oak woodland habitats. By comparison, Woodhouse’s have thinner, more pointed bills that nimbly reach deep into pinyon pine cones to pull out the pine nuts inside. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/California_Scrub-Jay )

When I Am Knocking, You Better Open Up!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.

He charged one and let the other one off.

Interesting Fact: A Red-bellied Woodpecker can stick out its tongue nearly 2 inches past the end of its beak. The tip is barbed and the bird’s spit is sticky, making it easier to snatch prey from deep crevices. Males have longer, wider-tipped tongues than females, possibly allowing a breeding pair to forage in slightly different places on their territory and maximize their use of available food.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Life Always Offers You A Second Chance. It’s Called Tomorrow.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Greater Yellowlegs

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then you will get 7 years of bad luck! 

Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)

Interesting Fact: These birds forage in shallow water, sometimes using their bills to stir up the water. They mainly eat insects and small fish, as well as crustaceans and marine worms. It often walks in sand or mud and leaves clear tracks; it can be possible to gather information about this species using its tracks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

My Life Is So Much More Interesting Inside My Head

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Interesting Fact: Ruby-crowned Kinglets breed across far northern North America as well as the western mountains. Most migrate to the southern and southwestern United States and Mexico for the winter—but some mountain populations in the West simply move to lower elevations during the cold months. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/maps-range )

Chillin’ Like A Villain!

F/8.0, 1/250. ISO 1000.

Bold Eagle

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles nest in trees except in regions where only cliff faces or ground sites are available. They tend to use tall, sturdy conifers that protrude above the forest canopy, providing easy flight access and good visibility. In southern parts of their range, Bald Eagles may nest in deciduous trees, mangroves, and cactus. It’s unknown whether the male or the female takes the lead in selecting a nest site. Nests are typically built near the trunk, high up in the tree but below the crown (unlike Osprey nests). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )

Where Does The Itch Goes After You Scratch It?

canada-goose-itch

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canada Goose

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Interesting Fact: Some migratory populations of the Canada Goose are not going as far south in the winter as they used to. This northward range shift has been attributed to changes in farm practices that makes waste grain more available in fall and winter, as well as changes in hunting pressure and changes in weather. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

Blue You Away!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Blue Jay 

Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?

Women can see right through them.

Interesting Fact: This common, large songbird is familiar to many people, with its perky crest; blue, white, gray, and black plumage; and noisy calls. Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems, and have tight family bonds. They often mate for life, remaining with their social mate throughout the year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue_Jay/lifehistory )

 

If Opportunity Doesn’t Knock Build A Door

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Hairy Woodpecker

A drunk appears in front of a judge.

The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”

The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started!”

Interesting Fact: Across North America the Hairy Woodpecker can be found from sea level to high in the mountains. In Central America, it is restricted to higher mountain forests. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hairy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )