He Can Be A Real Pecker !

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Red-Bellied Woodpecker

An New York woodpecker and a Florida woodpecker were in New York arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The New Yorker

woodpecker said that they had a tree there that no woodpecker can peck.

The Florida woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The New Yorker woodpecker was in awe!

The Florida woodpeck then challenged the New Yorker woodpecker to come to Florida and try to peck this certain tree there that no woodpecker had

ever been able to peck successfully.

The NewYorker woodpecker said he was sure he would be able to do it. So, after flying down to Florida, he successfully pecked the tree!

The two woodpeckers then had a discussion about why they were each unable to peck those trees in their own states. After thinking about this problem

for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: “Your pecker is always harder when you’re away from home…”

 

Interesting Fact: You may sometimes see Red-bellied Woodpeckers wedge large nuts into bark crevices, then whack them into manageable pieces using their beaks. They also use cracks in trees and fence posts to store food for later in the year, a habit it shares with other woodpeckers in its genus. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Gonzo Would Be Jealous!

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Whimbrel

What Do You Call a Beach that Keeps Losing Sand?

A Shore Loser.

Interesting Fact: In many regions, the primary winter food of the Whimbrel is crab. The curve of the Whimbrel’s bill nicely matches the shape of fiddler crab burrows. The bird reaches into the crab’s burrow, extracts the crab, washes it if it is muddy, and sometimes breaks off the claws and legs before swallowing it. Indigestible parts are excreted in fecal pellets.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Whimbrel/lifehistory )

 

I Meant To Be Good But There Were Too Many Other Options!

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Ruby-crowned Kinglet

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?

Bobby: Because of the Sign.

Teacher : What Sign?

Bobby : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”

Interesting Fact: The Ruby-crowned Kinglet is a tiny bird that lays a very large clutch of eggs—there can be up to 12 in a single nest. Although the eggs themselves weigh only about a fiftieth of an ounce, an entire clutch can weigh as much as the female herself. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

I Would Cry But Mascara Is Designer

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Green-Winged Teal

Men are like mascara, any sign of emotion and they’re running.

Interesting Fact: Green-winged Teals have closely spaced, comblike projections called lamellae around the inner edge of the bill. They use them to filter tiny invertebrates from the water, allowing the birds to capture smaller food items than other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

Use Your Head!

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Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker

What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?

Swimming trunks!

Interesting Fact: The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker frequently uses human-produced materials to help in its territorial drumming. Street signs and metal chimney flashing amplify the irregular tapping of a territorial sapsucker. The sapsucker seems to suffer no ill effects of whacking its bill on metal, and a bird will return to a favorite sign day after day to pound out its Morse code-like message. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-bellied_Sapsucker/lifehistory  )

I Am Going To Wing It!

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Double-crested Cormorant

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

Interesting Fact: Accumulated fecal matter below nests can kill the nest trees. When this happens, the cormorants may move to a new area or they may simply shift to nesting on the ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

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Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Your Wings Already Exist All You Have To Do Is Fly

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Great Egret 

Why did the reporter rush into the ice cream shop?

He was looking for a scoop.

Interesting Fact: Not all young that hatch survive the nestling period. Aggression among nestlings is common and large chicks frequently kill their smaller siblings. This behavior, known as siblicide, is not uncommon among birds such as hawks, owls, and herons, and is often a result of poor breeding conditions in a given year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Whatchoo Wanna Do Tonight?!

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Turkey Vulture

Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s too far to walk.

Interesting Fact: The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

I Had A Dream I Was A Muffler And I Woke Up Exhausted.

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Tufted Titmouse

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A kid jumped into a mud puddle.

Want to hear a clean joke?

A kid jumped into the bath.

Interesting Fact:  Tufted Titmice nest in cavities but aren’t able to excavate them on their own. They use natural holes and old nest holes made by several woodpecker species, including large species such as Pileated Woodpecker and Northern Flicker. Additionally, Tufted Titmice also nest in artificial structures including nest boxes, fenceposts, and metal pipes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )