This Is Really Hard To Swallow

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Barn Swallow

Why did the computer break up with the internet?

There was no “Connection”.

Interesting Fact: Long-distance migrant. Barn Swallows fly from North American breeding grounds to wintering areas in Central and South America. Southbound fall migration may begin by late June in Florida or early July in Massachusetts. They return as early as late January in southern California to mid-May at Alaskan breeding sites. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

If You Can’t Win An Argument, Correct Their Grammar Instead.

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Tree Swallow

Nurse: “The invisible man is here for his appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t see him right now.”

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows nest in natural cavities of standing dead trees, old woodpecker cavities, or nest boxes. On occasion they nest in hollow stumps, building eaves, Wood Duck nest boxes, holes in the ground, old Cliff Swallow burrows, or other unconventional sites.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart!

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Ovenbird

Why did the apple run away?

Because the banana split!

Interesting Fact: The Ovenbird gets its name from its covered nest. The dome and side entrance make it resemble a Dutch oven. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ovenbird/overview )

The Deeper You Look The Better The Treasure.

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Yellow Warbler

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

“Odor in the court!”

Interesting Fact: Yellow Warblers build their nests in the vertical fork of a bush or small tree such as willow, hawthorn, raspberry, white cedar, dogwood, and honeysuckle. The nest is typically within about 10 feet of the ground but occasionally up to about 40 feet.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow_Warbler/lifehistory )

I Have A Leg Up On You

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Greater Yellowlegs

Ghosts are hard to impress.

They boo everything.

Interesting Fact: Their breeding habitat is bogs and marshes in the boreal forest region of Canada and Alaska. They nest on the ground, usually in well-hidden locations near water. The three to four eggs average 50 mm (2.0 in) in length and 33 mm (1.3 in) in breadth and weigh about 28 g (0.99 oz). The incubation period is 23 days. The young leave the nest within 24 hours of hatching and then leave the vicinity of the nest within two days.( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

The Truth Is Hard To Swallow When You’re Choking On Your Pride!

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Tree Swallows

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

Interesting Fact: Tree Swallows have helped researchers make major advances in several branches of ecology, and they are among the best-studied bird species in North America. Still, we know little about their lives during migration and winter. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Life Always Offers You A Second Chance. It’s Called Tomorrow.

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Greater Yellowlegs

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then you will get 7 years of bad luck! 

Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)

Interesting Fact: These birds forage in shallow water, sometimes using their bills to stir up the water. They mainly eat insects and small fish, as well as crustaceans and marine worms. It often walks in sand or mud and leaves clear tracks; it can be possible to gather information about this species using its tracks. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_yellowlegs )

Being Small Works For Me!

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Least Sandpiper

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

Interesting Fact: The Least Sandpiper is the smallest shorebird in the world, weighing in at about 1 ounce and measuring 5-6 inches long. Males are slightly smaller than females. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper )

Save Water Take Baths With A Friend!

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Northern Shoveler

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?

“I hope I didn’t quack any!”

Interesting Fact: Females use their body, feet, and bill to make a small depression on the ground about 8 inches wide. The nest scrape is usually surrounded on at least three sides by vegetation and lined with downy feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

 

 

I’m Gonna Tell You Again STOP HUMMING!

rufous-hummingbird-1

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Rufous Hummingbird

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

Interesting Fact: The Rufous Hummingbird has an excellent memory for location, no doubt helping it find flowers from day to day, or even year to year. Some birds have been seen returning from migration and investigating where a feeder had been the previous year, even though it had since been moved. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rufous_Hummingbird/lifehistory )