Do You Feel Ducky, Punk!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Hooded Merganser Male

Where do you take a sick boat?

To the dock.

Interesting Fact: Unlike dabbling ducks, Hooded Mergansers swim low in the water. Their legs are far back on their bodies, which helps in diving but makes them awkward on land. They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( Hooded Merganser Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

50 Shades Of Red In My Eyes

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback 

What type of book has only characters and no story?

A telephone book.

Interesting Fact: A large diving duck, the Canvasback breeds in prairie potholes and winters on ocean bays. Its sloping profile distinguishes it from other ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/id )

Muddy Quack!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 450.

Northern Pintail Duck

What day do fish hate?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The Northern Pintail is among the earliest nesting ducks in North America, beginning shortly after ice-out in many northern areas. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )

Go Green Or I’ll Scream!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 320.

American Wigeon

Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs!

Interesting Fact: The American Wigeon was formerly known as “Baldpate” because the white stripe resembled a bald man’s head.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Wigeon/lifehistory )

I’m A Duck That Does Not Give A Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Hooded Merganser ( Female )

2 Guys walking down the street.

One walks into a bar, the other ducks.

Interesting Fact:  The female chooses the nest site, and may start scouting for next year’s tree cavity at the end of each breeding season. Nest cavities can be in live or dead trees and are usually close to water. Cavities are typically 10–50 feet off the ground, up to about 90 feet. Hooded Mergansers nest readily in boxes, preferring those with wood shavings or nest material from previous uses. They prefer cavities with 3–5 inch openings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/overview )

Flying Quack!

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 280.

Hooded Merganser ( Male ) 

A police officer stops a Bob’s car.

Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Bob: “No, to do it.”

Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )  

I Will, I Will, Quack You!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback ( Female ) 

Guy in a restaurant calls a waiter over

Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”

Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”

Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays.[5] It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Mother Pheasant Plucker!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

What is dangerous?

Sneezing while having diarrhea!

Interesting Fact:  Pheasants, along with most members of the grouse family, have specialized, powerful breast muscles—the “white meat” that you find on a chicken. These muscles deliver bursts of power that allow the birds to escape trouble in a hurry, flushing nearly vertically into the air and reaching speeds of nearly 40 miles per hour.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant/lifehistory )