I Meant To Be Good But There Were Too Many Other Options!

ruby-crowned-kinglet

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 640.

Ruby-crowned Kinglet

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?

Bobby: Because of the Sign.

Teacher : What Sign?

Bobby : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”

Interesting Fact: The Ruby-crowned Kinglet is a tiny bird that lays a very large clutch of eggs—there can be up to 12 in a single nest. Although the eggs themselves weigh only about a fiftieth of an ounce, an entire clutch can weigh as much as the female herself. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruby-crowned_Kinglet/lifehistory )

I Would Cry But Mascara Is Designer

green-winged-teal

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 360.

Green-Winged Teal

Men are like mascara, any sign of emotion and they’re running.

Interesting Fact: Green-winged Teals have closely spaced, comblike projections called lamellae around the inner edge of the bill. They use them to filter tiny invertebrates from the water, allowing the birds to capture smaller food items than other dabbling ducks. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green-winged_Teal/lifehistory )

Use Your Head!

yellow-bellied-sapsucker-2

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker

What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?

Swimming trunks!

Interesting Fact: The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker frequently uses human-produced materials to help in its territorial drumming. Street signs and metal chimney flashing amplify the irregular tapping of a territorial sapsucker. The sapsucker seems to suffer no ill effects of whacking its bill on metal, and a bird will return to a favorite sign day after day to pound out its Morse code-like message. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-bellied_Sapsucker/lifehistory  )

I Am Very Saucy, You Can Call Me Duck Sauce.

ruddy-duck-2

F/10.0, 1/320, ISO 400.

Ruddy Duck

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Interesting Fact: Pleistocene fossils of Ruddy Ducks, at least 11,000 years old, have been unearthed in Oregon, California, Virginia, Florida, and Illinois. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

I Am Going To Wing It!

double-crested-cormorant

F/ 5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Double-crested Cormorant

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

Interesting Fact: Accumulated fecal matter below nests can kill the nest trees. When this happens, the cormorants may move to a new area or they may simply shift to nesting on the ground. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Interesting Fact: Birds are amazingly adapted for life in the air. The Red-tailed Hawk is one of the largest birds you’ll see in North America, yet even the biggest females weigh in at only about 3 pounds. A similar-sized small dog might weigh 10 times that. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Your Wings Already Exist All You Have To Do Is Fly

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Great Egret 

Why did the reporter rush into the ice cream shop?

He was looking for a scoop.

Interesting Fact: Not all young that hatch survive the nestling period. Aggression among nestlings is common and large chicks frequently kill their smaller siblings. This behavior, known as siblicide, is not uncommon among birds such as hawks, owls, and herons, and is often a result of poor breeding conditions in a given year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Egret/lifehistory )

Whatchoo Wanna Do Tonight?!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 280

Turkey Vulture

Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s too far to walk.

Interesting Fact: The Turkey Vulture’s distinctive slow, teetering flight style probably helps the bird soar at low altitudes, where it is best able to use its nose to find carrion. At other times they may soar high on thermals and form mixed flocks or kettles. On the ground they move with ungainly hops and are less agile than Black Vultures. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Turkey_Vulture/lifehistory )

I Had A Dream I Was A Muffler And I Woke Up Exhausted.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Tufted Titmouse

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A kid jumped into a mud puddle.

Want to hear a clean joke?

A kid jumped into the bath.

Interesting Fact:  Tufted Titmice nest in cavities but aren’t able to excavate them on their own. They use natural holes and old nest holes made by several woodpecker species, including large species such as Pileated Woodpecker and Northern Flicker. Additionally, Tufted Titmice also nest in artificial structures including nest boxes, fenceposts, and metal pipes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )