Sometimes I Get Road Rage From Standing In Lines.

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Semipalmated Sandpipers

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: Semipalmated Sandpiper: Breeds in lower Arctic regions from western Alaska to Labrador. Migrates through central North America to the Atlantic coast to reach its wintering grounds, which extend from the extreme southern U.S. to the Caribbean Islands and South America. Preferred habitats include shorelines and mudflats. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/427/overview/Semipalmated_Sandpiper.aspx )

 

I Enjoy Long Romantic Walks On The Beach

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Great Blue Heron 

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons forage, usually alone, across much of the U.S. This largest of the North American herons wades slowly or stands stock still, peering into the water for prey. In flight the Great Blue Heron folds it neck into an “S” shape and trails its long legs behind, dangling them as it prepares to land or when courting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

 

 

I May Look Like I’m Having Deep Thoughts, But Really I Need To Fart.

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Semipalmated Sandpiper

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Interesting Fact:  Semipalmated Sandpipers from eastern populations probably undertake nonstop transoceanic flights of 3,000 – 4,000 km (1,900 – 2,500 mi) from New England and southern Canada to South America, powered by extensive fat reserves. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

They Were Born To Fly And Touch The Sky

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Semipalmated Sandpipers

What is a bunny’s favorite music?

Hip-hop.

Interesting Fact: The Semipalmated Sandpiper gets its common name from the short webs between its toes (“palmated” means webbed). The Western Sandpiper is the only other small sandpiper with similarly webbed toes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Semipalmated_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

Grow Old With Me.

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Red-breasted Mergansers

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Interesting Fact: The oldest recorded Red-breasted Merganser was a female, and at least 9 years, 6 months old when she was shot in Alaska, the same state where she had been banded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Swim At Your Own Risk

mute-swan-swimming

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Mute Swan

Why did the teacher jump into the water?

She wanted to test the water!

Interesting Fact: The black knob at the base of the male Mute Swan’s bill swells during the breeding season and becomes noticeably larger than the female’s. The rest of the year the difference between the sexes is not obvious.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Alone We Are Strong… Together We Are Stronger!

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Red-breasted Merganser

Why can’t a leopard hide?

Because he’s always spotted!

Interesting Fact:  The Red-breasted Merganser breeds farther north and winters farther south than the other American mergansers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

Emo Ducks

red-breasted-mergansers

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Red-breasted Mergansers

Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach?

Yes. It’s better to swim in water.

Interesting Fact: The Red-breasted Merganser breeds farther north and winters farther south than the other American mergansers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

I’m Hungry Like The Wolf!

great-blue-heron-water

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Great Blue Heron

A minister is stopped by a state trooper for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol on his breath and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor.

The trooper asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.”

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” And the minister looks down at the bottle and says,

“Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons in the northeastern U.S. and southern Canada have benefited from the recovery of beaver populations, which have created a patchwork of swamps and meadows well-suited to foraging and nesting. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )

Eat Like No One Is Watching You!

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Red-breasted Merganser  

Why do bananas use sunscreen?

Because they peel.

Interesting Fact: The red-breasted merganser (Mergus serrator) is a diving duck, one of the sawbills. The genus name is a Latin word used by Pliny and other Roman authors to refer to an unspecified waterbird, and serrator is a sawyer from Latin serra, “saw”.  ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser#Behaviour )