Here I Sit Broken Hearted Tried To Poop But Only Farted

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Yellow-Rumped Warbler

Why did Bob throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

Interesting Fact: Yellow-rumped Warblers flit through the canopies of coniferous trees as they forage. They cling to the bark surface to look for hidden insects more than many warblers do, but they also frequently sit on exposed branches and catch passing insects like a flycatcher does. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Yellow-rumped_Warbler/lifehistory )

Blue You Away!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

Blue Jay 

Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?

Women can see right through them.

Interesting Fact: This common, large songbird is familiar to many people, with its perky crest; blue, white, gray, and black plumage; and noisy calls. Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems, and have tight family bonds. They often mate for life, remaining with their social mate throughout the year. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Blue_Jay/lifehistory )

 

Are You Mocking Me?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Northern Mockingbird

What do you call a snowman in July?

A puddle.

Interesting Fact: It’s not just other mockingbirds that appreciate a good song. In the nineteenth century, people kept so many mockingbirds as cage birds that the birds nearly vanished from parts of the East Coast. People took nestlings out of nests or trapped adults and sold them in cities such as Philadelphia, St. Louis, and New York, where, in 1828, extraordinary singers could fetch as much as $50. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Mockingbird/lifehistory )

Don’t You Flap Your Wings At Me!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Hooded Merganser

In School

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Bob: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Bob, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Bob: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Interesting Fact:  The Hooded Merganser is the second-smallest of the six living species of mergansers (only the Smew of Eurasia is smaller) and is the only one restricted to North America. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

CANNONBALL!!!!!!

F/8.0, 1/2000, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

your looking sharp.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend the breeding season in northern forested habitats near large lakes and rivers. Since they nest in cavities of large trees, breeding Common Mergansers are usually found in mature forests. They spend winters on large lakes, rivers, and reservoirs in the southern and coastal regions of their breeding range, and in additional wintering grounds across the northern and western United States. They tend to prefer freshwater wintering habitat over saltwater, but they may winter in coastal bays, estuaries, and harbors. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

Life Is So Much Easier When You Just Chill Out.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Carolina Wren

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just #$&#*&^# beautiful!

Interesting Fact: One captive male Carolina Wren sang nearly 3,000 times in a single day. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Carolina_Wren/lifehistory )

We Go Together Like Copy And Paste.

F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800.

Common Mergansers

Why can’t you trust an atom?

They make up everything.

Interesting Fact: The female chooses the nest site, which is usually in a natural cavity or woodpecker hole in a live or dead tree, up to 100 feet off the ground and within a mile of water. Common Mergansers nest less frequently in rock crevices, old sheds, chimneys, lighthouses, holes in banks, holes in the ground, hollow logs, and burrows. ( Common Merganser Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology)

 

 

Splash Down!

F/8.0, 1/2000, ISO 800.

Common Merganser 

Why was the math book so sad?

It had a lot of problems.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. ( Common Merganser Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

 

 

CAUTION! Headbanging In Progress!

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Pileated Woodpecker 

What does a house wear?

Address.

Interesting Fact: Pileated Woodpeckers forage in large, dead wood—standing dead trees, stumps, or logs lying on the forest floor. They make impressive rectangular excavations that can be a foot or more long and go deep inside the wood. These holes pursue the tunnels of carpenter ants, the woodpecker’s primary food. ( Pileated Woodpecker Life History, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )

I Swear, I Am One Cocktail Away From Telling Everyone What I Really Think!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 160.

Least Sandpiper

A Sandwich walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”

Interesting Fact: Researchers studying Least Sandpipers discovered a new feeding mechanism. While probing damp mud with their bills, the sandpipers use the surface tension of the water to transport prey quickly from their bill tips to their mouths. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/ )