People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Ruddy Duck 

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

Interesting Fact: Most males pair up with one female each for the duration of the breeding season, but some take multiple mates. Their eggs are proportionally the largest of all waterfowl. The ducklings hatch well-developed and active, receiving minimal care from the mother and none from the father. Ducklings are preyed upon by Black-crowned Night-Herons, Ring-billed Gulls, California Gulls, mink, and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

Do Whatever Floats Your Boat… As Long As It Doesn’t Sink Mine.

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”

Interesting Fact: California sea lions may hunt continuously for up to 30 hours, with each dive lasting three to five minutes. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Life Is Only A Reflection Of What We Allow Ourselves To See

mallard-5

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Mallard

A duck waddles into a card shop, he waddles his way to the front desk asking the clerk, Do you got any tape?

The clerk replies, No. So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, Do you have any tape?

The clerk looking irritated replying in a stern voice, No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!

So the duck just waddles away. At the same time the next day the Duck is waddling into that same card shop He waddles right up to that same clerk asking him, do you have any nails? The clerk says, no. Then the duck replied good!! So do you have any tape?

Interesting Fact: Mallard pairs form long before the spring breeding season. Pairing takes place in the fall, but courtship can be seen all winter. Only the female incubates the eggs and takes care of the ducklings. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

That Ducking Motherquacker!

F/10.0, 1/1600, ISO 800. 

Common Merganser

What’s the secret to telling a good postman joke?

It’s all in the delivery

Interesting Fact: Males chase each other during communal courtship displays, sometimes bumping or striking each other. Females sometimes lay their eggs in other ducks’ nests, including other Common Mergansers as well as Hooded Mergansers or Common Goldeneyes.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

They Call Us The Brown Bombers!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 240.

Canvasback

How does NASA organize a birthday party?

They planet!

Interesting Fact: Canvasbacks are diving ducks at home in the water, seldom going ashore to dry land. They sleep on the water with their bill tucked under the wing, and they nest on floating mats of vegetation. To get airborne Canvasbacks need a running start, but once in the air they are strong and fast fliers, clocking airspeeds of up to 56 miles per hour. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

 

 

We Are Family!

F/8.0, 1/2500, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

Puddle

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend much of their time afloat, loafing, fishing, and often sleeping on open water. They may form flocks of up to 75 individuals. They often swim in small groups along the shoreline, dipping their heads underwater to search for prey and then diving with a slight leap. Often when one bird dives in a large group, the others follow the leader and disappear. They can stay under for up to 2 minutes, but they normally dive for less than 30 seconds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

Keep On Duckin!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Hooded Mergansers

How do you get a frog off the back window of your car?

Use the rear defrogger.

Interesting Fact: Hooded Mergansers are usually in pairs or small groups of up to 40 birds. They court in groups of one or more females and several males. The males raise their crests, expanding the white patch, often while shaking their heads. Their most elaborate display is head-throwing, in which they jerk their heads backwards to touch their backs, with crests raised, while giving a froglike croak. Females court by bobbing their heads and giving a hoarse gack.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )

I’m Chillin’

F/7.1, 1/1600, ISO 640.

Mute Swan ice

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

Interesting Fact: Before or during landing at a breeding site they’ll slap the water with their feet to announce their arrival and alert potential intruders. If another swan approaches members of the pair raise their wings and tuck their neck in a “busking” display to warn them off. Territorial defenses sometimes escalate to fights between males that can end with the dominant bird pushing its rival underwater. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

 

 

I Have A Date Tonight, With My Bed. We Are Totally Gonna Sleep Together.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.

Common Eider ( Female ) 

Where do vegetables go to get drunk?

The Salad Bar.

Interesting Fact: Eiders are colonial breeders. They nest on coastal islands in colonies ranging in size of less than 100 to upwards of 10,000-15,000 individuals.[13] Female eiders frequently exhibit a high degree of natal philopatry, where they return to breed on the same island where they were hatched. This can lead to a high degree of relatedness between individuals nesting on the same island, as well as the development of kin-based female social structures.[14] This relatedness has likely played a role in the evolution of co-operative breeding behaviours amongst eiders. Examples of these behaviours include laying eggs in the nests of related individuals[15] and crèching, where female eiders team up and share the work of rearing ducklings. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_eider )

 

Dont Be Afraid to Stick Your Neck Out!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ring-necked Duck

Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?

Because you can see right through him.

Interesting Fact:  Ring-necked Ducks feed by diving underwater, rather than by tipping up as “dabbling” ducks do. When diving, they leap forward in an arc to plunge underwater, and they swim using only their feet for propulsion. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )