Always Be Yourself… Unless You Can Be A Duck… Then Always Be A Duck.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 200. 

Red-breasted Merganser 

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.

One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!”

The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”

Interesting Fact: Red-breasted Mergansers are among the fastest flying ducks, clocking speeds of up to 81 miles per hour.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

I’m Sick Of Following My Dreams, Man. I’m Just Going To Ask Where They’re Going And Hook Up With ’em Later.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.

Interesting Fact: The Palm Warbler, unlike most warblers, spends a lot of time walking on the ground and bobbing its tail as it goes—an obvious trait whether the bird is on the ground or perched in a tree or shrub. Despite its affinity for the ground it also forages and sings from taller trees and shrubs. It sometimes sallies out to grab an insect from a low shrub or tree like a flycatcher. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

 

 

Ordinarily, Staring is Creepy. But If You Spread Your Attention Across Many Individuals, Then It’s Just People Watching.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Common Grackle

Tom is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water. Tom cant believe it, he yells over ” whats your secret?” “woogatkakeptewrwm” he answers back. “what did you say?” replies Tom. The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Tom, ” you have to keep your worms warm”.

Interesting Fact: Those raggedy figures out in cornfields may be called scare-crows, but grackles are the #1 threat to corn. They eat ripening corn as well as corn sprouts, and their habit of foraging in big flocks means they have a multimillion dollar impact. Some people have tried to reduce their effects by spraying a foul-tasting chemical on corn sprouts or by culling grackles at their roosts. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Grackle/lifehistory )

 

Happiness Is Enjoying The Little Things In Life

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 250.

American Goldfinch 

How do cows do mathematics?

They use a cow-culator.

Interesting Fact: American Goldfinches are active, acrobatic finches that balance on the seedheads of thistles, dandelions, and other plants to pluck seeds. They have a bouncy flight during which they frequently make their po-ta-to-chip calls. Although males sing exuberantly during spring, pairs do not nest until mid-summer, when thistles and other weeds have gone to seed. Goldfinches do not join other songbirds mobbing predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Goldfinch/lifehistory )

 

 

Danger Mouth Operates Faster Than Brain!

F/10.0, 1/640, ISO 250.

Belted Kingfisher

What did the salad say to the fridge?

Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Interesting Fact: Pleistocene fossils of Belted Kingfishers (to 600,000 years old) have been unearthed in Florida, Virginia, Tennessee, and Texas. The oldest known fossil in the kingfisher genus is 2 million years old, found in Alachua County, Florida. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Belted_Kingfisher )

 

 

 

OH SH*T!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Tree Swallow

Why do ghosts ride in elevators?

It keeps their spirits up.

Interesting Fact: They bathe by flying low over the water and skimming their bodies against the surface, then rising quickly while shaking off droplets. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tree_Swallow/lifehistory )

Bad Hair Day: Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Mergansers 

Can February March?

No, but April May.

Interesting Fact:Red-breasted Mergansers nest along forested riverbanks, marsh edges, lakeshores, coastal islands, and sandy shores with vegetation. They are never far from water. Female Red-breasted Mergansers select a spot on the ground under dense cover from low tree branches, fallen logs, or boulders. They nest alone or in colonies often with gulls and terns. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-breasted_Merganser/lifehistory )

 

 

A Wise Duck Once Told Me “QUACK” And He Meant It!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 125.

White-cheeked pintail

Why did the student wear eye-glasses in math class?

It improved DiVision!

Interesting Fact: White-cheeked Pintail: Large, heavily spotted dark and light brown duck with striking white cheek patches, blue bill with bright red base, buff pointed tail. Legs and feet are blue-gray. Feeds on aquatic plants, small invertebrates. Swift direct flight with strong rapid wing beats. AKA Bahama Duck. ( https://identify.whatbird.com/obj/1029/overview/White-cheeked_Pintail.aspx )

There Is No “We” In Food, So Get Away From Me.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Palm Warbler

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“SUPPLIES!”

Interesting Fact: Despite its tropical sounding name, the Palm Warbler lives farther north than most other warblers. It breeds far to the north in Canada, and winters primarily in the southern United States and northern Caribbean. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Palm_Warbler/lifehistory )

It’s Much Easier Sitting Down In The Chair..

F/6.3, 1/60, ISO 1250.

Bald Eagle

What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge!

Interesting Fact: Bald Eagles are powerful fliers—soaring, gliding, and flapping over long distances. In one of several spectacular courtship displays, a male and female fly high into the sky, lock talons, and cartwheel downward together, breaking off at the last instant to avoid crashing to earth. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Bald_Eagle/lifehistory )