That Hawkward Moment!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 400.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Interesting Fact: ed-tailed Hawks typically put their nests in the crowns of tall trees where they have a commanding view of the landscape. They may also nest on a cliff ledge or on artificial structures such as window ledges and billboard platforms. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/lifehistory )

Come Hang Out With Me.

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 320.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

What did the triangle say to the circle?

Your pointless!

Interesting Fact: Nests in dead trees (hardwoods or pines), dead limbs of live trees, and fence posts. The same pair may nest in the same tree year after year, but typically excavate a new cavity each year, often placing the new one beneath the previous year’s.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

These Mushrooms Are Trippy!

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 320.

Downy Woodpecker

“Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?”

Doctor: “I deal with you later.”

Interesting Fact: Downy Woodpeckers have the undulating flight pattern typical of many woodpecker species, alternating quick wingbeats with folding the wings against the body. When having a dispute with another bird, Downy Woodpeckers fan their tails, raise their head feathers, and jerk their beaks from side to side. In spring you may see courtship displays in which males and females fly between trees with slow, fluttering wingbeats that look almost butterfly-like. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

 

My Eyes Always Come Out Red In Photos

F/ 6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

Canvasback

“Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she’s a duck.”

“You better bring her in to see me straight away.”

“I can’t do that – she’s already flown south for the winter.”  

Interesting Fact: The species name of the Canvasback, Aythya valisineria, comes from Vallisneria americana, or wild celery, whose winter buds and rhizomes are its preferred food during the nonbreeding period.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canvasback/lifehistory )

Out For A Run!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 250.

Mourning Dove

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Interesting Fact:  Perhaps one reason why Mourning Doves survive in the desert: they can drink brackish spring water (up to almost half the salinity of sea water) without becoming dehydrated the way humans would. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mourning_Dove )

Release The Quackin!

ring-necked-ducks

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 500.

Ring-necked Ducks

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

Interesting Fact: During fall migration, Ring-necked Ducks can form immense flocks. Several hundred thousand congregate each fall on certain lakes in Minnesota to feed on wild rice. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

I Am In To Head Banging, What Music Do you Like?

downy-woodpecker-2

F/6.3, 1/1000, ISO 800.

Downy Woodpecker

There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.

The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.

The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.

The third guy chooses a grenade. So he pulls the pin and throws it out.

They land a while later and are walking along when they find a man rubbing his head.

They ask, “What happened to you?”

He answers, “An apple hit me on the head.”

They’re walking along again and find a man lying unconscious on the ground.

They ask the cop, “What happened to him?”

He answers, “A brick hit him on the head.”

They’re walking again, when they find a man laughing hysterically.

They ask, “What happened to you?”

He answers, “I farted and the house blew up behind me!”

Interesting Fact: In winter Downy Woodpeckers are frequent members of mixed species flocks. Advantages of flocking include having to spend less time watching out for predators and better luck finding food from having other birds around. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Downy_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

It’s The New Year, Get Your Ducks In A Row!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Ring-necked Ducks

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

Interesting Fact: They tend to remain in pairs during the breeding season but group into flocks of several to several thousand during migration and winter. Like many other ducks, the Ring-necked Duck uses many kinds of displays to ward off rivals and to seek mates; almost any group of ducks offers an opportunity to watch these displays at work. When warning away another bird, Ring-necked Ducks lower their bill to meet their chest or push against each other, breast to breast, while swimming. This can intensify to bites and blows with the wings, particularly during the breeding season. When courting, males often throw their head sharply backward, touching the back; swim rapidly while nodding the head; or act as if they are preening their wing. As pairs begin to form, the two birds may perform exaggerated neck stretches or dip their bills in the water as if drinking. Pairs tend to form in spring and stay together at least until incubation begins. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

I’m A Biter!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 800.

Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Interesting Fact: Loons shoot through the water like a torpedo, propelled by powerful thrusts of feet located near the rear of their body. When their quarry changes direction, loons can execute an abrupt flip-turn that would make Olympic swimmers jealous: they extend one foot laterally as a pivot brake and kick with the opposite foot to turn 180 degrees in a fraction of a second. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )

 

 

GERONIMO!

F/ 6.3, 1/1000, ISO 640.

Great Blue Heron

A magician was performing on cruise ship and each night while performing his pet parrot keeps saying:

“its up his sleeve”

” its in his pocket”.

“its in his shoe”.

“in his pants”.

Etc. and the magician was loosing his patience. one night while performing his tricks the ships boilers blew and the ship sank, the lucky magician was able to grab onto a ships table and float on the sea for a few days. the parrot in the mean time seemed non plussed and was looking quizzically at the magician for a few days whilst drifting. On the 4th day the parrots looks at his master and says:

“I give up… what did you do with the ship?”

Interesting Fact: Great Blue Herons have specialized feathers on their chest that continually grow and fray. The herons comb this “powder down” with a fringed claw on their middle toes, using the down like a washcloth to remove fish slime and other oils from their feathers as they preen. Applying the powder to their underparts protects their feathers against the slime and oils of swamps. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/lifehistory )