Who Dyed Your Hair!

F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 400.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker

Teacher: “Bobby what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Bobby: “A doctor.”

Teacher: “And why’s that?”

Bobby: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Interesting Fact:  These birds often stick to main branches and trunks of trees, where they hitch in classic woodpecker fashion, leaning away from the trunk and onto their stiff tail feathers as they search for food hiding in bark crevices. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-bellied_Woodpecker/lifehistory )

It’s Been A Rough Week So Far… But On Positive Note, I Didn’t Need Any Bail Money And Didn’t Have To Hide Any Bodies!

F/6.3, 1/800, ISO 800.

Rough-legged Hawk

Daughter: “Mom, where do tampons go?”

Mom: “Where the babies come from, darling.”

Daughter “In the stork?”

Check out this really funny jokes: http://www.short-funny.com/#ixzz5540ew6c6

Interesting Fact: The Rough-legged Hawk’s cliffside nest, a bulky mass of sticks, sometimes contains caribou bones. Nesting pairs need a lot of space: usually only a single pair will nest on a quarter-mile-long cliff. However, the pair may nest within 100 feet of Gyrfalcons, Peregrine Falcons, or Common Ravens. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Rough-legged_Hawk/lifehistory  )

Dont Mess With Me, I Can Peck You Up!

F/9.0, 1/1250, ISO 400.

Downy Woodpecker

Teacher: Bob please point to America on the map.

Bob: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Bob did.

Interesting Fact: Woodpeckers don’t sing songs, but they drum loudly against pieces of wood or metal to achieve the same effect. People sometimes think this drumming is part of the birds’ feeding habits, but it isn’t. In fact, feeding birds make surprisingly little noise even when they’re digging vigorously into wood. ( http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/downy_woodpecker/lifehistory )

Duck You!

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 800.

Harlequin Duck Female

At what time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Interesting Fact:  More than half of eastern North American population of Harlequin Ducks winters in coastal Maine, particularly outer reaches of Penobscot and Jericho bays. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Harlequin_Duck/lifehistory )

Rain Makes Everything Wet

F/6.3, 1/125, ISO 320.

Red-breasted Merganser

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”

He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Interesting Fact: The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-breasted_merganser )

If Money Is Made Out Of Paper, Doesn’t That mean money Grows on Trees?

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Brown Creeper

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out!

Interesting Fact: Sometimes creepers build nests in unusual places, such as behind window shutters, in or under roofs, inside fenceposts, or inside concrete blocks. One brought up a family in a specially constructed box made of pieces of Douglas-fir bark. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Creeper/lifehistory )

I Lost My Temper, But It Came Back!

F/9.0, 1/250, ISO 160.

Ring-necked Duck

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

He felt crummy!

Interesting Fact: Ring-necked Ducks feed by diving underwater, rather than by tipping up as “dabbling” ducks do. When diving, they leap forward in an arc to plunge underwater, and they swim using only their feet for propulsion. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

My Nose Has Done More Running This Winter Than I Have.

american-wigeon

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

American Wigeon

I went to a really emotional wedding over the weekend.

Even the cake was in tiers.

Interesting Fact: The American Wigeon’s short bill enables it to exert more force at the bill tip than other dabbling ducks, thus permitting efficient dislodging and plucking of vegetation.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Wigeon/lifehistory )

Owl We Need Is Love!

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 800.

Short Eared Owl

What kind of flower doesn’t sleep at night?

The Day-zzz

Interesting Fact: Normally reluctant to leave the nest, female Short-eared Owls that are forced to flush often defecate on their eggs. The resulting putrid smell may repel predators or mask the scent of the nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Short-eared_Owl/ )

CANNONBALL!!!!!!

F/8.0, 1/2000, ISO 800.

Common Merganser

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

your looking sharp.

Interesting Fact: Common Mergansers spend the breeding season in northern forested habitats near large lakes and rivers. Since they nest in cavities of large trees, breeding Common Mergansers are usually found in mature forests. They spend winters on large lakes, rivers, and reservoirs in the southern and coastal regions of their breeding range, and in additional wintering grounds across the northern and western United States. They tend to prefer freshwater wintering habitat over saltwater, but they may winter in coastal bays, estuaries, and harbors. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Merganser/lifehistory )