Do Not Swallow!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 320.

Barn Swallow

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Interesting Fact: According to legend, the Barn Swallow got its forked tail because it stole fire from the gods to bring to people. An angry deity hurled a firebrand at the swallow, singeing away its middle tail feathers. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/lifehistory )

Keep Calm And Quack Quack!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 500.

Black Scoter

Mother: What did you learn in school today

Son: How to write.

Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!

Interesting Fact: The Black Scoter is divided into two subspecies. In the form found in Europe, the “Common Scoter,” the male has a larger swollen knob at the base of the upper bill that is black on the sides with a yellow stripe on top, not entirely yellow. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black_Scoter/lifehistory )

 

 

Hee That Loves The Tree, Loves The Branch.

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 1000.

Green Heron

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator

Interesting Fact: Like many herons, the Green Heron tends to wander outside of its breeding range after the nesting season is over. Most of the wanderers stay nearby as they search for good feeding habitat, but some travel long distances. Individuals have turned up as far away as England and France. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Heron/lifehistory )

I Only Have Crazy Eyes For You!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

Northern Mockingbird 

Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?

They’re afraid of flying off the handle!

Interesting Fact:  The Northern Mockingbird frequently gives a “wing flash” display, where it half or fully opens its wings in jerky intermediate steps, showing off the big white patches. No one knows why it does this, but it may startle insects, making them easier to catch. On the other hand, it doesn’t often seem to be successful, and different mockingbird species do this same display even though they don’t have white wing patches.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Mockingbird/lifehistory )

I Am Too Busy Working On My Own Grass To Notice If Yours Is Greener

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 640.

Muskrat

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying!

Interesting Fact: Muskrats provide an important food resource for many other animals, including minkfoxescoyoteswolveslynxbobcatsbearseaglessnakesalligators, and large owls and hawksOtterssnapping turtles, and large fish such as pike prey on baby muskrats. Caribou and elk sometimes feed on the vegetation which makes up muskrat push-ups during the winter when other food is scarce for them.[24] In their introduced range in the former Soviet Union, the muskrat’s greatest predator is the golden jackal. They can be completely eradicated in shallow water bodies, and during the winter of 1948–49 in the Amu Darya (river in central Asia), muskrats constituted 12.3% of jackal faeces contents, and 71% of muskrat houses were destroyed by jackals, 16% of which froze and became unsuitable for muskrat occupation. Jackals also harm the muskrat industry by eating muskrats caught in traps or taking skins left out to dry. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat#Behavior )

Only The Bold Get To The Top.

F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 320.

Red-Eared Slider Turtles

Why did the nurse go to art school?

To learn how to draw blood!

Interesting Fact: Red-eared sliders are almost entirely aquatic, but as they are cold-blooded, they leave the water to sunbathe to regulate their temperature. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-eared_slider )

 

 

 

So Much On My Mind It’s A Wonder My Neck Doesn’t Snap.

F/6.3, 1/50, ISO 200.

American Flamingo 

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I’ll go on a head.

Interesting Fact: The American flamingo has adapted to its shallow-water environment in several ways. It has evolved long legs and large webbed feet to wade and stir up the bottom of the water bed to bring up their food source to then be retrieved. To feed, it has evolved a specialized beak which is hooked downward and features marginal lamellae on the upper mandible, and inner and outer lamellae on both the upper and lower mandibles. These are adapted for filtering out differently sized food from water.[16] Depending on the food source in their area, diets depend on the exact morphology of their beaks on what can and cannot be strained out of them. It submerges its head under water to retrieve its food, and may have its head under water for long times, which requires it to hold its breath. Factors which affect the habitat choice of American flamingos are environmental temperatures, water depth, food source, accessibility of an area, and the presence of vegetation beds in feeding areas. If available food items do not meet the needs of the flamingos or the temperature is not appropriate to their requirements, they move to a better feeding or more temperate area. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_flamingo )

Next Time I Am Wearing Green!

F/6.3, 1/ 160, ISO 320.

Chipping Sparrow

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets.

Interesting Fact: The early naturalists had a gift for description you just don’t see anymore. In 1929, Edward Forbush called the Chipping Sparrow “the little brown-capped pensioner of the dooryard and lawn, that comes about farmhouse doors to glean crumbs shaken from the tablecloth by thrifty housewives.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Chipping_Sparrow/lifehistory )

Relax, We’re All Crazy It’s Not A Competition!

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Song Sparrow

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

Interesting Fact: The Song Sparrow is found throughout most of North America, but the birds of different areas can look surprisingly different. Song Sparrows of the Desert Southwest are pale, while those in the Pacific Northwest are dark and heavily streaked. Song Sparrows of Alaska’s Aleutian Islands chain are even darker, and they’re huge: one-third longer than the eastern birds, and weighing twice as much.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Song_Sparrow/lifehistory )

 

A Simple Hello Could Lead To Million Things

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

European Starling

What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can’t tuna fish.

Interesting Fact: Starlings turn from spotted and white to glossy and dark each year without shedding their feathers. The new feathers they grow in fall have bold white tips – that’s what gives them their spots. By spring, these tips have worn away, and the rest of the feather is dark and iridescent brown. It’s an unusual changing act that scientists term “wear molt.” ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/European_Starling/lifehistory )