When Someone Yells STOP I Don’t Know Whether It’s In The Name Of Love, It’s Hammer Time, Or I Should Smell The Flowers.

F/5.3, 1/800, ISO 320.

Anna’s Hummingbird ( Female )

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo

Interesting Fact: Anna’s Hummingbirds normally have a body temperature of around 107 degrees Fahrenheit—that’s a scorching temperature for a human. When outside temperatures fall, Anna’s and many other species of hummingbirds enter torpor. Their breathing and heart rate slow, and their body temperature can fall as low as 48 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature warms, the hummingbirds can become active again in a few minutes. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Annas_Hummingbird/ )

 

 

Just Smile And Wave!

F/5.6, 1/320, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion 

Why do sea lions go to Tupperware parties?

To find a tight seal!

Interesting Fact: When diving deep, California sea lions slow their heart rates to allow them to remain underwater for nearly ten minutes before surfacing to breathe. This ability gives them an edge in the pursuit of the fish, squid, and shellfish that make up their primary diet. ( http://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/c/california-sea-lion/ )

From Small Beginnings Come Great Things

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

Canada Goose Goslings

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Interesting Fact: Young often remain with their parents for their entire first year, especially in the larger subspecies. As summer wanes birds become more social; they may gather in large numbers at food sources; where food is limited and patchy, may compete with displays and fights.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

If You See Rabbit Laying Little Brown Eggs, Don’t Eat Them, IT’S NOT CHOCOLATE!

Happy Easter Everyone! 

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 900.

Cottontail Rabbit

What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school?

He was eggspelled!

Interesting Fact: The Easter Bunny (also called the Easter Rabbit or Easter Hare) is a folkloric figure and symbol of Easter, depicted as a rabbit bringing Easter eggs. Originating among German Lutherans, the “Easter Hare” originally played the role of a judge, evaluating whether children were good or disobedient in behaviour at the start of the season of Eastertide.[1] The Easter Bunny is sometimes depicted with clothes. In legend, the creature carries colored eggs in his basket, candy, and sometimes also toys to the homes of children, and as such shows similarities to Santa Claus or the Christkind, as they both bring gifts to children on the night before their respective holidays. The custom was first[2][unreliable source?] mentioned in Georg Franck von Franckenau‘s De ovis paschalibus[3] (‘About Easter Eggs’) in 1682, referring to a German tradition of an Easter Hare bringing Easter eggs for the children. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_Bunny )

Don’t Look Back You’re Not Going That Way

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 220.

Least Sandpiper

Browsing in a pet shop, a man sees a beautiful parrot with a red
string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to its right
leg, and asks the store owner about the different colored strings.
“This is a highly-trained parrot,” the owner explains. “If you
pull the red string, he’ll speak French.  If you pull the green
string, he’ll speak Spanish.”
The customer asks, “What happens if I pull both strings?”
“I’ll fall off my perch, dummy!” screeches the parrot.

Interesting Fact: Eastern populations probably fly nonstop over the ocean from the Gulf of St. Lawrence and New England to wintering grounds in northeastern South America, a distance of about 1,800 to 2,500 miles. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Least_Sandpiper/lifehistory )

 

Hey Autocorrect! Quit Tampering With My Curse Words, You Mother Forklift!

F/5.6, 1/100, ISO 640.

Bananaquit

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?

It got pissed off.

Interesting Fact: The bananaquit is known for its ability to adjust remarkably to human environments. It often visits gardens and may become very tame. Its nickname, the sugar bird, comes from its affinity for bowls or bird feeders stocked with granular sugar, a common method of attracting these birds.[19] The bananaquit builds a spherical lined nest with a side entrance hole, laying up to three eggs, which are incubated solely by the female.[4] It may also build its nest in human-made objects, such as lampshades and garden trellises. The birds breed all year regardless of season and build new nests throughout the year. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaquit )

 

 

Sleeping Beauty.

F/6.3, 1/160, ISO 200.

Common Snapping Turtle

What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino!!!

Joke complementary of: robinwrites

F/5.6, 1/125, ISO 200.

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 400.

Interesting Fact: Snapping turtles ambush their prey from the bottom of the water. Fish mistake their tongue for warms and viola dinner is served. yum

Hey, these are my nuts!

F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 800.

Eastern Chipmunk

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.

Interesting Fact: A chipmunk’s cheeks can expand to three times the size of its head and they have pouches in their cheeks where they hold their food until they get back to store it in their burrows ( http://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/fun-interesting-facts-about-chipmunks.html )

 

 

DON’T PANIC!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 360.

Canada Goose 

A man goes to his doctor because he’s been feeling very ill for days. The doctor gives him several sets of pills.

The doctor instructs; “Take the green pill with two big glasses of water when you get up. An hour later, take the white pill with another glass of water. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Mid afternoon, take the orange pill with plenty of water, and repeat that at dinner. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with several big glasses of water.”

The man is alarmed at huge volume of medicine he has been given to take, and nervously asks, “What’s the diagnosis? What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “You’re dehydrated.”

Interesting Fact: The “giant” Canada Goose, Branta canadensis maxima, bred from central Manitoba to Kentucky but was nearly driven extinct in the early 1900s. Programs to reestablish the subspecies to its original range were in many places so successful that the geese have become a nuisance in many urban and suburban areas.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/lifehistory )

When I Was Born I Was So Surprised I Didn’t Talk For A Year And Half

F/5.6, 1/800, ISO 250.

White-throated Sparrow

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta

Interesting Fact:  White-throated Sparrows eat mainly the seeds of grasses and weeds, including ragweed and buckwheat, as well as fruits of sumac, grape, cranberry, mountain ash, rose, blueberry, blackberry, and dogwood. In summer they eat large numbers of insects that they catch on the forest floor or, occasionally on quick flights out from low vegetation. These include dragonflies, wasps, stinkbugs, beetles, flies, and caterpillars, as well as spiders, millipedes, centipedes, and snails. Parents feed their nestlings almost exclusively animal matter. During winter, White-throated Sparrows readily visit bird feeders for millet and black oil sunflower seeds. In spring they eat the tender buds, blossoms, and young seeds of oak, apple, maple, beech, and elm. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/White-throated_Sparrow/lifehistory )