Snow Way You’ve Got To Be Flaking Me!

F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.

Mute Swan

Why was the snowman sad?

Cause he had a meltdown.

Interesting Fact: Male Mute Swans select the nest site and may start several nests before the female accepts the location. Nest sites are safe from flooding yet offer easy access to water, with ample nesting materials and food nearby–often on a small peninsula, along a heavily vegetated shoreline, or on a small to medium-sized island.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

 

 

 

I’m So High!

F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.

Red-tailed Hawk

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,

“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”

“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )

Mother Pheasant Plucker!

F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Ring-Necked Pheasant

What is dangerous?

Sneezing while having diarrhea!

Interesting Fact:  Pheasants, along with most members of the grouse family, have specialized, powerful breast muscles—the “white meat” that you find on a chicken. These muscles deliver bursts of power that allow the birds to escape trouble in a hurry, flushing nearly vertically into the air and reaching speeds of nearly 40 miles per hour.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ring-necked_Pheasant/lifehistory )

I Got Blue More Than You!

F/7.1, 1/200, ISO 320.

Eastern Bluebird

In Court:

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Defendant: “Your Honour I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Defendant: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

Interesting Fact: Eastern Bluebirds occur across eastern North America and south as far as Nicaragua. Birds that live farther north and in the west of the range tend to lay more eggs than eastern and southern birds.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Eastern_Bluebird )

Together We Fly!

F/13.0, 1/640, ISO 400.

Mallard

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Interesting Fact: Mallards, like other ducks, shed all their flight feathers at the end of the breeding season and are flightless for 3–4 weeks. They are secretive during this vulnerable time, and their body feathers molt into a concealing “eclipse” plumage that can make them hard to identify. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard )

You Want A Little Bit Of The Top?!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Sandhill Crane

A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…

the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.

Interesting Fact:  Sandhill Crane chicks can leave the nest within 8 hours of hatching, and are even capable of swimming. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/overview )

HELLO From The Other Side!

F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.

American Kestrel

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

“I love you with all my art!”

Interesting Fact: It can be tough being one of the smallest birds of prey. Despite their fierce lifestyle, American Kestrels end up as prey for larger birds such as Northern Goshawks, Red-tailed Hawks, Barn Owls, American Crows, and Sharp-shinned and Cooper’s Hawks, as well as rat snakes, corn snakes, and even fire ants. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Kestrel )

How low can you go?

northern-shoveler-2

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 250.

Northern Shoveler 

How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

Interesting Fact: The bill of the Northern Shoveler is about 6.5 cm (2.5 inches) long. The bill has has about 110 fine projections (called lamellae) along the edges, for straining food from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Shoveler/lifehistory )

I Am Origami Model

F/10.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Sandhill Crane

Why was the chicken afraid?

Because it was chicken.

Interesting Fact: Although some start breeding at two years of age, Sandhill Cranes may reach the age of seven before breeding. They mate for life—which can mean two decades or more—and stay with their mates year-round. Juveniles stick close by their parents for 9 or 10 months after hatching. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Sandhill_Crane/lifehistory )

Sorry. Yesterday Was The Deadline For All Complaints.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 500.

Northern Cardinal ( Female )

What do you give an elephant that’s going to be sick?

Plenty of space!

Interesting Fact: Males sometimes bring nest material to the female, who does most of the building. She crushes twigs with her beak until they’re pliable, then turns in the nest to bend the twigs around her body and push them into a cup shape with her feet. The cup has four layers: coarse twigs (and sometimes bits of trash) covered in a leafy mat, then lined with grapevine bark and finally grasses, stems, rootlets, and pine needles. The nest typically takes 3 to 9 days to build; the finished product is 2-3 inches tall, 4 inches across, with an inner diameter of about 3 inches. Cardinals usually don’t use their nests more than once. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )