F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.
American Coot
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
Interesting Fact: The ecological impact of common animals, like this ubiquitous waterbird, can be impressive when you add it all up. One estimate from Back Bay, Virginia, suggested that the local coot population ate 216 tons (in dry weight) of vegetation per winter. ( American Coot Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )
F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.
Pied-Billed Grebe
What happened to the car with an engine made of wood?
It wooden go.
Interesting Fact: The Latin genus name for “grebe” means “feet at the buttocks”—an apt descriptor for these birds, whose feet are indeed located near their rear ends. This body plan, a common feature of many diving birds, helps grebes propel themselves through water. Lobed (not webbed) toes further assist with swimming. Pied-billed Grebes pay for their aquatic prowess on land, where they walk awkwardly. ( Pied-billed Grebe Overview, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology )
F/5.0, 1/60, ISO 800, Photoshop.
What Does it Mean If You Were Born In September?
That your parents started the new year with a BANG!
Interesting Fact: During the Middle Ages in Western Europe, while the Julian calendar was still in use, authorities moved New Year’s Day, depending upon locale, to one of several other days, including March 1, March 25, Easter, September 1, and December 25. Beginning in 1582, the adoptions of the Gregorian calendar has meant that many national or local dates in the Western World and beyond have changed to using one fixed date for New Year’s Day, January 1. ( New Year – Wikipedia )
F/8.0, 1/250, ISO 400.
Northern Cardinal ( Male )
In the class room
Bobby: ” Can I go the toilet? ”
Teacher: ” Say the alphabet ”
Bobby: ” ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ “
Teacher: “Where’s the P “
Bobby: ” Half way down my leg “
Interesting Fact: Northern Cardinals hop through low branches and forage on or near the ground. Cardinals commonly sing and preen from a high branch of a shrub. The distinctive crest can be raised and pointed when agitated or lowered and barely visible while resting. You typically see cardinals moving around in pairs during the breeding season, but in fall and winter they can form fairly large flocks of a dozen to several dozen birds. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory#behavior )
F/8.0, 1/1000, ISO 640.
Mute Swan
A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her
armpits.
Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.”
The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”
“Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”
Interesting Fact: All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )
F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 280.
Hooded Merganser ( Male )
A police officer stops a Bob’s car.
Police Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”
Bob: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”
Officer: “At home?”
Bob: “No, to do it.”
Interesting Fact:They take flight by running across the water, flying with fast wingbeats and never gliding until they are about to land (by skidding to a stop on the water). ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Hooded_Merganser/lifehistory )
F/6.3, 1/640, ISO 200.
Canvasback ( Female )
Guy in a restaurant calls a waiter over
Guy: “Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.”
Waiter: “And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!”
Interesting Fact: The breeding habitat of the canvasback is in North Americaprairie potholes. The bulky nest is built from vegetation in a marsh and lined with down. Loss of nesting habitat has caused populations to decline. The canvasback usually takes a new mate each year, pairing in late winter on ocean bays.[5] It prefers to nest over water on permanent prairie marshes surrounded by emergent vegetation, such as cattails and bulrushes, which provide protective cover. Other important breeding areas are the subarctic river deltas in Saskatchewan and the interior of Alaska. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvasback )
F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 800.
Common Loon ( Nonbreeding adult )
What computer sings the best?
A Dell.
Interesting Fact: Loons are agile swimmers, but they move pretty fast in the air, too. Migrating loons have been clocked flying at speeds more than 70 mph. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Loon/lifehistory )
F/5.6, 1/1600, ISO 400.
Mute Swan
Why was the snowman sad?
Cause he had a meltdown.
Interesting Fact: Male Mute Swans select the nest site and may start several nests before the female accepts the location. Nest sites are safe from flooding yet offer easy access to water, with ample nesting materials and food nearby–often on a small peninsula, along a heavily vegetated shoreline, or on a small to medium-sized island. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )
F/6.3, 1/2500, ISO 320.
Red-tailed Hawk
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.
“What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband.
“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife,
“I was cleaning little Jen’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?”
“Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”
Interesting Fact: The oldest known wild Red-tailed Hawk was at least 30 years, 8 months old when it was found in Michigan in 2011, the same state where it had been banded in 1981. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Red-tailed_Hawk/overview )
Through Open Lens 