By Invitation Only!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 200.

Mallard Female

Why do barbers make good drivers?

They know all the shortcuts.

Interesting Fact: During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. After incubation begins, she plucks down feathers from her breast to line the nest and cover her eggs. The finished nest is about a foot across, with a bowl for the eggs that is 1–6 inches deep and 6–9 inches across. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Once You Stop Chasing The Wrong Things, The Right Ones Catch You.

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 160.

Wood Duck

How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of Beer instead of one.

Interesting Fact: Wood ducks cavities are typically places where a branch has broken off and the tree’s heartwood has subsequently rotted. Woodpecker cavities are used less frequently. Wood Ducks cannot make their own cavities. The nest tree is normally situated near to or over water, though Wood Ducks will use cavities up to 1.2 miles from water. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wood_Duck/lifehistory )

 

 

Motorboating Is My Thing!

F/11.0, 1/500, ISO 250.

Mallard Female

Which day of the week do chickens hate most?

Fry-day!

Interesting Fact: The female forms a shallow depression or bowl on the ground in moist earth. She does not carry material to the nest but rather pulls vegetation she can reach toward her while sitting on nest. During egg-laying phase, she lines the nest with grasses, leaves, and twigs from nearby. She also pulls tall vegetation over to conceal herself and her nest. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mallard/lifehistory )

Quit Staring AT Me!

F/6.3, 1/80, ISO 500.

Common Gallinule

What do u call a police officer that works in bed?

A undercover cop.

Interesting Fact: Males and females construct a wide bowl of grasses and sedges. Males tend to collect most of the nesting material while females arrange and anchor it to emergent vegetation near the water’s edge. Common Gallinule nests are around 10–12 inches wide.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Gallinule/lifehistory )

Everything In Your Life Is Reflection Of A Choice You Have Made, If You Want A Difrent Result, Make A Different Choice.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320, Photoshop CS6.

Mute Swan

A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if i get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizont.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

Interesting Fact:  Mute Swans can adapt to degraded habitat and actually benefit from the spread of the invasive common reed Phragmites australis, which flourishes in disturbed sites. As the reeds spread into lakes and ponds, the swans can build nests farther offshore in the reed beds, where they’re safer from egg predators. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/lifehistory )

Strike A Pose

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 100.

Brown Pelicans

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Interesting Fact: The closely related Peruvian Pelican lives along the Pacific Coast of South America from southern Ecuador to Chile. It’s a little larger than a Brown Pelican, with fine white streaking on its underparts and a blue pouch in the breeding season. These two species are the only pelicans that plunge-dive for their food. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Brown_Pelican/lifehistory )

Water Chicken!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 320.

American Coot

“Babe is it in?”

“Yea.” “Does it hurt?”

“Uh huh.”

“Let me put it in slowly.”

“It still hurts.”

“Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”

Interesting Fact: A slow and meticulous forager, the American Coot plucks at plants while walking, swimming, dabbling with its head just underwater, or in full dives. In flight coots are clumsy and labored (though less so than Common Moorhens). To get airborne, coots typically have to beat their wings while running across the water for many yards. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/American_Coot/lifehistory# )

Keep Calm And Quack On!

F/9.0, 1/320, ISO 200.

Red-breasted Merganser  

A motorist in a B.M.W. was driving through the countryside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, having a lovely time, when he came to an area of the road that was covered with a rather large puddle of water from a previous rain storm. Worried that he was going to damage the car and its engine in the deep water, he spotted a nearby farmer and asked how deep the water was. “Arr”, said the local farmer “That water only be a few inches deep!” Relieved, the motorist edged his car into the water, expecting to come out the other side in no time. Instead, as he drove in, the water came right up the side of the car, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Sitting there in his soaking wet luxury car, the motorist yelled at the local angrily: “I thought you said this water was only a few inches deep!!!” “Well,” replied the local farmer “It only come up to the waist of them there ducks!”

Interesting Fact: It prefers salt water more than the other two species of merganser. ( http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/115/overview/Red-breasted_Merganser.aspx )

Even Though You’re Fed Up. You Gotta Keep Your Head Up.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Double-crested Cormorant 

What do you call someone without a nose or a body?

Nobodynose.

Interesting Fact: Both Double-crested Cormorant mates work on the nest, with the male bringing most of the material and the female doing the building. The nest is mostly made of finger-size sticks, with some seaweed and flotsam, and lined with grass. Nests are 1.5 to 3 feet in diameter and 4 to 17 inches high; ground nests tend to be wider than tree nests, but tree nests have deeper interiors. Breeding cormorants readily steal nesting materials from a nearby nest that’s not guarded. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Double-crested_Cormorant/lifehistory )

Be Different!

F/5.6, 1/500, ISO 360.

Western-Grebe

Why did the traffic light turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Interesting Fact:  The Western Grebe, like other grebes, spends almost all its time in water and is very awkward when on land. The legs are so far back on the body that walking is very difficult. Western Grebes are adept swimmers and divers. Courtship happens entirely in the water, including a well-known display known as “rushing,” where two birds turn to one side, lunge forward in synchrony, their bodies completely out of the water, and race across the water side by side with their necks curved gracefully forward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Grebe/lifehistory )