People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day.

F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 250.

Ruddy Duck 

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

Interesting Fact: Most males pair up with one female each for the duration of the breeding season, but some take multiple mates. Their eggs are proportionally the largest of all waterfowl. The ducklings hatch well-developed and active, receiving minimal care from the mother and none from the father. Ducklings are preyed upon by Black-crowned Night-Herons, Ring-billed Gulls, California Gulls, mink, and raccoons. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Ruddy_Duck/lifehistory )

 

Which Way Did He Go, George? Which Way Did He Go?

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F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 320.

European Starlings

What’s a good snowing tip?

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Interesting Fact: All the European Starlings in North America descended from 100 birds set loose in New York’s Central Park in the early 1890s. The birds were intentionally released by a group who wanted America to have all the birds that Shakespeare ever mentioned. It took several tries, but eventually the population took off. Today, more than 200 million European Starlings range from Alaska to Mexico, and many people consider them pests.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/European_Starling/lifehistory )

 

 

 

Not In A Tweeting Mood!

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F/10.0, 1/400, ISO 400.

Tufted Titmouse

Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone?

He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

Interesting Fact: Tufted Titmice often line the inner cup of their nest with hair, sometimes plucked directly from living animals. The list of hair types identified from old nests includes raccoons, opossums, mice, woodchucks, squirrels, rabbits, livestock, pets, and even humans. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Tufted_Titmouse/lifehistory )

 

 

Fly Above The Negativity!

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Great Blue Heron 

Why was Frosty told to leave the grocery store?

Because he was caught picking his nose in the produce isle.

Interesting Fact: Despite their impressive size, Great Blue Herons weigh only 5 to 6 pounds thanks in part to their hollow bones—a feature all birds share.  ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Blue_Heron/overview )

 

Time Is Just Flying By

F/6.3, 1/500, ISO 250.

Northern Pintail Duck 

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets.

“Yes, we do,” replies the assistant. “But we can’t find any of them.”

Interesting Fact: The female makes several scrapes in the ground before she starts building the nest, ultimately choosing the last scrape made. She slowly adds grasses and down to the depression while laying eggs to form a shallow bowl approximately 7–10 inches wide and 2–4 inches deep. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Pintail/lifehistory )

 

 

 

I Came In Like A Wrecking Ball!

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Black capped Chickadee 

Can your mother predict the future with cards?

Yes! She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

Interesting Fact: Chickadees are active, acrobatic, curious, social birds that live in flocks, often associating with woodpeckers, nuthatches, warblers, vireos, and other small woodland species. They feed on insects and seeds, but seldom perch within several feet of one another while taking food or eating. Flocks have many calls with specific meanings, and they may contain some of the characteristics of human language. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Black-capped_Chickadee/lifehistory )

Do Whatever Floats Your Boat… As Long As It Doesn’t Sink Mine.

F/5.6, 1/200, ISO 100.

California Sea Lion

A man walks into a bar where the only other occupant is a seal.
he orders a beer and hears the seal say “I like your tie.” confused the man ignores the seal.
But every few minutes the seal calls out another complement.
When the bartender comes the man asks “what’s with the mammal?”
to that the bartender replies “oh that is our seal of approval”

Interesting Fact: California sea lions may hunt continuously for up to 30 hours, with each dive lasting three to five minutes. ( http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/california-sea-lion/ )

Looking For Food In All The Wrong Places

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F/6.3, 1/250, ISO 1600.

Northern Cardinal

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate,” Bring me my red shirt! “The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, ” Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked,’ Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle? “The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted,’ If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid.’ The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed,” Bring me my brown pants!”

Interesting Fact: Look for Northern Cardinals in dense shrubby areas such as forest edges, overgrown fields, hedgerows, backyards, marshy thickets, mesquite, regrowing forest, and ornamental landscaping. Cardinals nest in dense foliage and look for conspicuous, fairly high perches for singing. Growth of towns and suburbs across eastern North America has helped the cardinal expand its range northward. ( https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Northern_Cardinal/lifehistory )

Of Course I See My Shadow With All The Camera Flashes

Six More Weeks Of Winter

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F/5.6, 1/160, ISO 125.

Groundhog (Woodchuck)

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is?”

“Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for
the office.

The doorbell rang at 10 a. m., and when the wife opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1: 00 p. m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered.

Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

“First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

“I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

Interesting Fact: Groundhog burrows are known to have been responsible for uncovering a historic village in central Ohio – now a famous archeological site. ( http://www.havahart.com/groundhog-facts )